[img]560|left|Nicholas D. Pollak|remove link|no_popup[/img]A new client called about dealing with his anger. He had moved here from the East Coast to operate a newly opened finance company that has strong connections to New York.
His concern was that he needed to remain on New York time and be three hours different from his friends here. Continually frustrated, he would go to bed late and not wake up until 10 or 11 a.m., severely limiting the time that he had available to do business with New York.
Frustrated and angry, he never did as much business as he needed, and he was taking out his negative feelings on his business partner and friends.
Inappropriately, he was aiming at others should have been directing his fury at himself. No one else is responsible for him staying up late and sleeping late in the morning. He did not want to acknowledge that. He wanted a social life and a business life.
Most of Us Can One-Track
Most of us can enjoy business and pleasure reasonably well since we are doing both in the same time zone.
Of course people live in the same time zone but work different hours from the regular 9-to-5 the majority follows, and still there are . broken marriages, depression and loneliness. It takes a very special person to work the night shift and sleep during the day.
His answer was easy: He had to make a decision. Did he want to play? Or be a business success? He chose business.
I helped him create a new daily schedule. He was now to rise at 5:30 Monday through Friday, and go out for a quick walk until 6. Afterward, he would shower, dress, cook and eat a protein- rich breakfast. He would establish an area within his apartment for work, beginning at 7 by calling his financiers in New York.
Once completed, he would report to his office no later than 9, working until 3 or 4 o’clock, when New York business shut down. The rest of the day was his to do with as he wished. But he needed to remember that regardless of the hour he went to sleep, he was to be up by 5:30. He said he was willing to try. I encouraged him to try since he was paying me a large sum.
Climbing the Time Ladder
For a week he tried. Getting up was hard, but he pushed himself. Within two days that his frustration and anger vanished. Simultaneously, business improved.
After two weeks, what formerly was difficult became routine. After three weeks, 5:30 was a cinch. He was just doing it. Because he was getting up earlier, he was tired when he went to bed.
As for his social life, it was not affected much. On the days he stayed up late to socialize, he accepted that the next day he might feel tired. But he made the choice. He tended to party on Friday and Saturday nights, like most young people, and he was able to sleep in on Saturday and Sunday, ready for an early start again on Monday morning.
This worked for two reasons:
• Twenty-one times of repetition creates a new habit. We do not know why the number is 21. Getting up early 21 times in a row created the new habit that left him feeling uncomfortable over the weekend. He was guilty about sleeping in until 7:30. Clearly he had changed patterns.
• Secondly he had learned that any way he did things was learned. He was not born doing tasks a certain way. He had learned along the way. All he had to do was to unlearn the undesirable habit and replace it with the new habit one.
Once this was in place, there was no stopping him. He gets up on time, eats healthy, protein-rich meals, makes his social and business calls, gets to the office by 9, and maintains a good exercise routine. His social life is healthy, and most importantly, he is happy again.
If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me by telephone, 310.204.3321, or by email at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net. See my website at www.hypnotherapy4you.net
