[img]560|left|Nicholas D. Pollak|remove link|no_popup[/img]A new client wanted me to rid her of being nervous with her public speaking. A psychology major, she thought seeing a hypnotherapist would eliminate her problem more quickly than standard psychology or psychiatry.
We talked about symptoms she experiences when she is to deliver a speech – stomach aches, feeling as if she needs to vomit, bowels, anxiety, sweats, uncontrollable shaking.
Once she stopped even trying to speak, telling her audience she was too nervous to continue. , Hurrying out of the lecture hall, she ran to the bathroom, vomited.
She has been hypnotized before, by someone gentle and sympathetic. After three sessions, though, she realized he was not working for her. That was when she came to me.
I wish I could report a good session, that I helped. But there was severe resistance. She attempted to put the fault on me. Under hypnosis, I was suggesting to her she would like to eliminate the picture I had created for her in hypnosis, that of a person anxious, nervous, unhappy about speaking in public.
I suggested she allow herself to feel angry at the image, the way symptoms made her feel. Elimination would allow her to smile over ridding herself of the source of her problems.
Further into the session, we were going to have her see the image of the person she wanted to be, calm, confident, knowledgeable, enjoying giving lectures. Most importantly was an image of the audience enjoying her talk. They were not there to give her a hard time, but to learn from her.
Before I had a chance to guide her this way, she opened her eyes and announced this would not work. She could not feel angry toward the negative image. It should be loved and helped.
Wed to One Way Only
I realized then she was so steeped in what she was learning in psychology at school that anything I tried would hit a wall. She said people always resist in therapy, that she was no different. She wanted me to conduct the therapy a different way, her way, the method that had not helped.
When I told her that my therapy had worked with countless people over 20-plus years as a hypnotherapist, she reaffirmed what I was suggesting – being angry at what held her back was unacceptable to her. She would not do it. When someone presented himself or herself to her, she would ensure that the person would love the negative parts back to health.
I was stunned. Look, I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist. I may be 100 percent wrong. I don’t find loving the thing that is holding you back being constructive. Perhaps anger at the image is over the top. At least acknowledge the problem is holding her back. She refused.
In the end, she was extremely uncomfortable with what I had suggested. She would not continue. When I reminded her she had said that when she knew she was going to give a speech and she felt the symptoms I previously described, as a therapist I had a sacred duty to accept a person’s emotions, not sarcastically throw them back in her face.
I had not been sarcastic. She did not want to be reminded. She refused to allow herself anger at the problem.
Starting to cry, she said she could not believe she was spending the fee that I charge for this kind of therapy. She insisted my therapy was not normal, not close to anything she had been taught. Right there was her therapy problem. She was so brainwashed into performing her therapy the way her school taught her that any deviation was unacceptable.
I pride myself on taking care with clients to be certain they receive not what I think they should have but the changes they want. I can only go by my history. I must recognize some people want help but are unwilling to accept it from a professional. They want things done their way, regardless of the positive or negative result.
Before the young woman left, I wished her luck.
Very Different Story
As an aside, I remember a lady who had the most severe agoraphobia I have ever seen, so bad she could not go more than two feet outside her front door before she suffering panic attacks.
I conducted my sessions in a similar fashion to the case I mentioned. When I suggested she dislike the image holding her back, she was willing to be angry. She was happy with the anger she displayed over her agoraphobia. After six sessions, her problem was resolved. Presently, she is traveling the world on her own, catching up on all she has missed.
Do not hesitate to contact me by telephone, 310.204.3321, or by email at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net. See my website at www.hypnotherapy4you.net
