[img]396|left|Alex Campbell||no_popup[/img]The following is in diary form. Notes from my days on the South Beach Diet, uh, Plan. Phase 1 lasts for fourteen days.
Day 4
3 p.m. I’m hungry. I have the blues after taking my cat to the vet and witnessing a rectal exam, blood being taken, and her belly being shaved of matted fur. I’m mourning Michael Jackson’s death. I’m listening to Thriller, remembering what my mom once said about our cat when I was fourteen: “He’s a lover, not a fighter!” I think of my mom and my cat whenever I hear that line.
I need to eat something. I treat myself to tea with CAFFEINE and agave sweetener. To eat, a mozzarella cheese stick, almonds and pistachios. This plan really works. If I can satisfy myself with that, anyone can. My willpower is as strong as a bank vault. I don’t know if I can stand to listen to M.J. singing “She’s Out of My Life.” I might start crying uncontrollably, especially at the end, when his voice cracks. Is this plan making me extra sensitive?
Day 5
I’m out of the required food. I told myself I wouldn’t go shopping more than once a week for all this food, because it’s very expensive. But it’s Friday, and I don’t have what’s on the plan. I should say right now that I should get extra points for being on the SBP (South Beach Plan) with no oven and a refrigerator the size of the ones in college dorm rooms.
Day 7
You really need to eat a lot on this plan. This is the first day I’ve felt shaky. I don’t know if it’s because I’m not eating enough or if it’s because my body is adjusting to not having sugar and carbs. Twice I’ve taken a really hard nap and have woken up disoriented.
Day 11
3:15 p.m. Ate lunch at 11:30. My stomach is growling. Let’s see if thirty pistachios really is satisfying.
5 p.m. Barely. When’s dinner? I seem to be on the Early Bird dinner schedule.
Day 12
All I do is cook and wash dishes. I feel like a ‘50’s housewife. I’ve cheated a couple of times and had both cheese and nuts when I’m supposed to have only one or the other. I cheated big time today and ate five pieces of buttered popcorn. I am SO bad!
Day 13
I’ve lost four pounds. I’ll take that, thank you very much.
Day 14
Today is the last day of Phase 1. I’ve spent $174 on food in two weeks. I have no money in my bank account. The SBP ate it, ha ha! I’m cracking up. At least I’m not taking those weird naps anymore, and I don’t feel shaky. I actually look forward to a salad and nuts when I’m hungry. Gone are the days when I’ll reach for a muffin. I did have a bad few minutes yesterday when I really wanted a pastry, but the feeling passed.
I met some friends for lunch, and afterwards we went to the ice cream place. I threw caution to the wind and had a sample of nonfat peanut butter frozen yogurt. Oh god, a dessert never tasted so good to me. In my old life, I never would have gone for nonfat frozen yogurt. Now a sample makes me salivate. It also satisfied me, thank goodness. Tomorrow I get to start eating oatmeal and fruit.
There have been some really good things about being on this plan. For one thing, my food isn’t drowning in sauce or butter. All I use for seasoning is olive oil, salt and pepper. You can really taste the flavor of food if that’s all you put on it.
I’m also getting better at cooking. I no longer grill my meat until it’s leather-tough. I can sauté like a…well, not like a pro, exactly, but like someone who’s getting lots of practice. One thing I know for sure—I’m getting ALL of the recommended servings of vegetables a day. Can you say that about yourself? That’s all I’m asking.
By the time you read this, I will be on Day 6 of Phase 2. This phase lasts until you reach your goal weight. I’m trying for six more pounds lost, but I’d be very happy with another two or three. After that, it’s maintenance, and a whole new life!
A memorial service for muffins, cake, bagels, and pizza will be held in my imagination in the coming months. RIP bad carbohydrates.
Ms. Campbell may be contacted at campbellalexandra@hotmail.com
