[img]396|left|Alex Campbell||no_popup[/img]Dateline Boston — A few years ago, I went to Germany to visit some friends. They took me to a grand cathedral. Imke said to me, “Look, this building has been here for (really, really long time) years!” I nodded absentmindedly; “Uh huh.” Imke poked her husband Thomas and said, “Nothing impresses her!” One of the things that did impress me was the one-eyed goat.
Imke, Thomas, their kids Liam and Hannah, and I were driving in the German countryside. I saw a fuzzy brown creature in a pasture as we drove by. Having been born and raised in New York City, I get excited seeing wild animals that are not squirrels or pigeons. I yelled, “Stop the car! I think I see a three-headed goat!”
We Almost Got Our Goat
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Thomas pulled the car over. The kids and I scrambled out of the car. The field was closed off by a flimsy fence made of wood and plastic. Off in the distance we saw the animal: not a three-headed goat, merely a one-headed goat, with huge horns and a beautiful brown coat of fur.
The goat, who was munching on grass, stopped and looked up at us. It seemed to be thinking, “Hmm, who’s that? Maybe I’ll go check it out.” He started ambling towards us, slowly at first. As he got closer, his steps got faster. He started trotting. About three quarters of the way in, he sprang into a full run, until BAM! He ran right into the fence. We jumped back, of course, a little scared, but amused as well. The fence held tight.
He turned his head and bleated at us. That is when we saw that not only did he have just one head, he also had just one eye. Where his right eye was supposed to be was a dent covered with fur. We fed him some grass. He gave us one last bleat and dismissed us, walking back slowly across the field. He began munching grass again. We kept watching him, transfixed by this strange creature.
After a couple of minutes, the goat looked up at us again, with absolutely no recognition of us in his squinty goat eyes. Again, he seemed to be thinking, “Hmm, who’s that? I’ll go check it out.” He went through the routine exactly as he had done before: walking, trotting, running BAM! into the fence. Let’s just say that particular strudel didn’t have all the ingredients, if you know what I mean. Doesn’t take much to entertain me. Or impress me.
Ms. Campbell may be contacted at campbellalexandra@hotmail.com
