[Editor’s Note: As if to underscore the thesis in the following essay — that the dominant left-wing press chronically punishes Republicans who run afoul of the law, permanently labeling them as “disgraced,” while routinely excusing Democrats — The New York Times opened a story on former Republican lobbyist Jack Abramoff this way yesterday: “Like any new employee, Jack Abramoff is trying to keep a low profile — or as low a profile as a cause celebre disgraced lobbyist and convicted felon can keep when news cameraman keep staking out his new workplace.”
If you have a medium memory, you may remember the law-skirting antics of Jack Abramoff, a Washington lobbyist. Four years ago, he was convicted of three felony counts of defrauding four Indian tribes — possibly the first American to draw such a charge since either Kit Carson or Roy Rogers. Immediately after his arrest, covered more widely, accompanied by disbelieving gasps, than the end of World War II, Mr. Abramoff forever more was identified in all references as “the disgraced Jack Abramoff.” He was released from prison the other afternoon.
If you have a still sharper memory, you will recall the spectacular fall of Sen. David Vitter of Louisiana, a family man, three years ago. His name was discovered on the calling list of a notorious madam. The Canal Street Madam said Sen. Vitter visited more than once, but critics said she never produced evidence. Unable to be legally punished because of the statute of limitations, — the alleged visit(s) occurred six to eight years before — Sen. Vitter’s name continues to be inextricably attached to the prefix “disgraced.”
A savvy reader will note that the ties that bind the two gentlemen is the Republican Party. Ooooh, disgusting, chortle our friends in the liberal media.
As you also know, Republican sinners and Democrat sinners are treated vastly differently by the mainly liberal media.
Comes this morning’s edition of the Los Angeles Times, and the latest apologia in the entertainment section by young Matty (All That Glitters Definitely Is Not) Gold.
Still close enough to her college days to touch them with her well-varnished fingernails, Matty hunkers down, working both arms in unison, and scrubs clean the dirty record of an erstwhile political star she was writing about.
Why? Because he is a liberal and I am a liberal, Matty guilelessly reasons. So there, she pertly added.
My Dear, Dear Pal Eliot
Two years ago last March 10, The New York Times, a liberal bastion that occasionally wanders into enemy territory, reported that New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer was hip-deep in a prostitution scandal. In the most recent six-month period, he had visited high-class whorehouses seven or eight times, anonymously, blowing tens of thousands of dollars. Federal agents had him under surveillance. His trouble was serious enough that within 48 hours of the first story, he went on television, declared “I am outta here,” and resigned, we can say conservatively, in disgrace.
Matty Gold, who must have been thirty or forty years younger at the time, pleaded this morning that she was high on amnesia.
Matty’s left-wing friends at left-wing CNN had just hired born-again Eliot Spitzer to co-host a nightly program — either on topical subjects in the news or whether Catholic priests should remain celibate.
(Matty (I Am Grateful I Remembered to Forget) Gold gave Spitto such a snazzy whitewash job that admirers in the KKK would have applauded.
Matty (Ain’t I Sneaky?) Gold papered over Spitto’s scandal so meticulously that we are all the way to paragraph 10 before we learn that this is not the first job SDpitto ever had.
Slicker than deerguts on a doorknob, Matty Baby portrays Spitto, thusly:
a “longtime Democratic politician, who resigned from office in 2008 amid revelations that he frequented a high-priced call girl ring.”
As far as we know, Spitty resigned from his lofty position as Culver City Dog Catch.
Matty Baby did not have room to note that he was the leader of the whole darned state.
Slinging journalistic garbage as if she used to toil for Public Works, Matty Baby sails through — you will forgive the pun — the body of her story without a hint about Spitto’s sins.
Genuflecting profoundly in paragraph 22, Matty Baby holds her breath and glancingly writes, defensively and parenthetically, Spitto’s “prostitution scandal shocked even the jaded denizens of New York.” Hardly worse than a parking ticket on Washington Boulevard.
In the next paragraph, Matty Baby herself goes call-girling. She telephones the latest left-wing loon to lead the National Organization of Women, Terry (My Golly Sakes, I Hate Republicans) O’Neil.
According to the obviously reliable Matty Baby, Ms. O’Neil told her:
“While Spitzer’s return to the spotlight was fast, she believes he is less toxic than other public figures felled by sex scandals because he has not behaved hypocritically.”
Further, Ms. O’Neil said:
“It’s clearly going to be an issue for him, but it’s not the be-all and end-all because if his actions are in line with his apology, then I don’t see women holding it against him forever.”
The moral of the Spitto-O’Neil-Gold story is, if you are going to misbehave, register Democrat. You will always slide home cleansed of sin.
