[img]541|left|Carter Dewberry||no_popup[/img]Sitting alone late Saturday night after having met my social quota, I found myself once again struggling with an odd mix of relief at being at home with my cello, anxiety at wondering why I only enjoy a limited amount of social interaction, and longing to have the desire to go out and just have FUN.
I may have alluded to such times in previous essays. This time, I decided to risk going public with another form of my expression… emotions as fragments of bittersweet longing. Here goes…
I am the puzzle piece
Switched at birth
Destined to wander
Looking to fit.
Alone, I wonder
Why do I stay so jagged
And refuse to dull my edges?
I tolerate but will not join.
Stark reality
Is my beauty
My truth
My word.
Surrounded by millions
I am told no man is an island
Is this why we are trained
To numb ourselves
To medicate
So that we can co-habitate?
Yes, I know there are others
Mis-matched puzzle pieces
Seeking their truths.
So I pause my restless search
And I play, play and play
Until they hear my music and come to join in.
Ms. Dewberry, an accomplished cellist, completed her DMA in Chamber Music Performance from UCLA in December 2005. She received her MM in Cello Performance from UCLA in June 2002 and her B.M. in Cello Performance from Western Michigan University in April 1998. She also holds a B.A. in French with a minor in Women's Studies and Philosophy.
Her website is www.carterdewberry.com
She may be contacted at carter@carterdewberry.com
