After attending a lecture last night about healthy eating, I decided, while in Trader Joe’s, I had to try their chocolate covered almonds. Just a dollar a bag. As I was finishing the entire bag of almonds, I knew I would not be able to sleep at night.
Coincidentally, or by divine plan, I received an Amazon Prime shipment when I got home. In the box was something designed to help me attend the theatre at night, while in bed. It was an almost three-foot-long gooseneck iPhone holder. I attached the clamp end to the drawer of my nightstand, which allowed me to lie in bed and watch a movie on my Amazon Prime Video. With the help of a pair of earphones attached to my iPhone, I was in movie theatre heaven.
Heaven was lying in bed, watching a free movie on my iPhone screen perched about a foot from my eyes. With my earphones on, I knew that my wife could still remain asleep. True, the free movies cost me $79 for the 2014 year, but for the money I also receive free Amazon Prime shipments in two days, with no minimum purchase required.
Wait – there’s more. How much have I already saved this year with Amazon Prime? It is mid-March and since the beginning of this year, I have purchased 38 items. The shipping on those items, at $3.99 apiece, would have come to $151.62. Since I paid $79 for the year, I am already in the black by $72.62. If I continue buying at this rate, I will have saved $727.77 in shipping for the year. Less the $79 Amazon Prime fee, I will be ahead some $648.77. I suppose you could say that Amazon has paid me for watching movies, buying items, and the thrill of picking up parcel boxes at my door every few days.
“What 38 items have you bought in the past eleven weeks?” you might be asking. And, you might be wondering, “Why do you order so many things?” The answer is that, instead of driving to the store, I wait two days for what I want, and it is delivered to my door. These past eleven weeks I bought: a belt, exercise stretch bands, printable clear sticker paper, time-release Melatonin tablets, wooden sticks, a flexible bracket for my iPhone, glue sticks, 80-poound cardstock, several books for our grandson and for ourselves, adhesive spray, chipboard sheets, refillable ink cartridges, a portable water pump, a tire gauge, reading glasses, boxer briefs, glue dots, rechargeable batteries, scissors, a money belt for grandma, a scoring board and envelope making tool, a plastic scraper, a Silhouette Cameo picture cutting tool, and Xylitol (an artificial sweetener).
An artificial sweetener. Yes. That’s exactly what it is. Amazon Prime is my artificial sweetener. Yes, I spent money on my 38 items. But I did save shipping costs and, with my Melatonin and late night movies, I just might fall asleep happier.
Mr. Ebsen may be contacted at robertebsen@hotmail.com
