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Tears on Sale: 99 Cents a Bottle. $15 for Two.

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Re “We Know Who the Real Enemy Is

Except for indolence and an allergic reaction to work, I never have understood why so many on the Jealous Left aspire to victimhood.

Lawdy, Lawdy, ya gave to everybody but me.

Note to the sophisticatedly organized Extremely Intelligent unemployed generation now playing in the Occupy Wall Street movement in a city near you:

Complaining, boys, is not a virtue, no matter how hard you squeeze and grunt.

Swishy was raised on socialism and victimhood. In the last three years, he has elevated indolence to an art form. Transferring wealth to the lazy is a central driving principal of his non-cerebral political philosophy.

In the unimaginative folklore of the Jealous Left, Mama Bear, Papa Bear and Baby Bear have been replaced by Mama Victim, Papa Victim and Baby Victim.

(Psst, Murgatroyd: Do you realize there are people in Culver City making more than you and me? Dang the rich. Pass it on.)

No scholars, they think history began last Tuesday.

Class warfare is an old carny trick that Swish breathes daily.

Turn the people against each other.

It has become Swish’s main mantra, the only shovel he and his advisors have to dig him out of the steep economic hole he has created.

Like an oldtime revivalist, he regularly calls out to crowds, “Y’all hate the rich don’t you?”

I cringe when he talks that way.

He doesn’t use the term in Minnesota or Wisconsin, only below the Mason-Dixon line..

Like Hillary, Swishy phonily adopts the tastiest colloquialisms of his gullible audiences.

In his nearby essay today, my colleague Mr. Wattree disappointingly plays the We Are Victims game again.

The Jealous Left has jimmied elections for decades. Finally, a spot of proof should be required.

Mr. Wattree tells us that requiring a photo ID is racially and financially discriminatory. Preposterous, as any schoolboy knows.

There is only a single conclusion to this Please Make Me a Victim fiction:

Blacks and poor people do not drive, do not drink, do not travel. If true, then, since they have chosen to deliberately isolate themselves, why, praytell, would they care to vote — or even know who is running for office.