Third of four parts
Re “A Man I Shall Never Forgive”
We were present in court on the day the drunk driver who killed our daughter Liana arrived with some members of his family. I expected he would walk to us, especially to my old grieving mother, and say only: “I am so sorry”.
This never happened.
Instead, they talked and laughed loudly, mere feet away from us. This attitude angered me. I decided to talk and give him a lesson he never will forget. (The detail of the speech is in my book “Korban – The Sacrifice of Liana.”)
I was very polite.
At the end of my speech, I asked him to stay sober the rest of his life and not inflict such pain on other families. The only voice that I heard back was a forced and broken “sorry” when the judge asked him many times if he had something to say. His attorney put the word sorry in his mouth.
Later, we never received a phone call or a letter showing us his regret.
I know that most grieving families are so familiar with the pain of loss that they do not wish it upon anyone, even the person who has caused their pain. After a loss, we learn to respect life. On the bad days it is hard not to think”
What is happening to my loved one at this moment?
Unconsciously, we ask ourselves what the person who has afflicted us with this pain is doing in that same moment?
Honestly, deep in my heart, I wished that our drunk driver would go to A.A. and counseling. One day, perhaps, I might hear that he is talking to youth groups or other alcoholics, sharing his bad life experiences and seek to change their lives.
The only thought that always bothered me was to imagine one day sitting in a restaurant only to find the drunk driver seated next to our table, eating and laughing with friends.
What would be our reaction in that moment? I wondered.
(To be concluded on Monday)
Dr. Rosemary Hartounian Cohen, who lives in the Fairfax District, received her Ph.D in sociology from the Sorbonne in Paris. She lived in two other countries before moving, with her husband and children, to Los Angeles in 1984. She has published four books in America. Since 1985, she has operated Atelier de Paris, an international art business, on Robertson Boulevard. Her email address is Rosemary@atelierdeparis.com
