Handout Holly Mitchell is back.
Handout Holly has been traipsing the largest state in the union these spring days, schlepping collection baskets, including one on her head. She is begging normal working people to share their real and imagined wealth with work-averse welfare families who want to keep having babies so they can collect more rubles without, you know, having to restrain themselves in the bedroom or elsewhere.
State Sen. Holly Mitchell (D-Culver City), whose tiger temper and bitter sense of revenge, are as tall as she is, has checked in as the landlady in Sacramento’s Haunted House of Handout Horrors.
The landlady was rolling yesterday when poor-mouthing old and slightly younger members of the legislative Women’s (Three Cheers for We Are Victims) Caucus, behind their lesbian leader, sashayed into a news conference whistling their anthem, “All of God’s Women Children Are Victims.”
A graying lollapalooza named Hannah-Beth Jackson, from Santa Barbara County, led off the cry-in. After reaching for a bucket to deposit her victim tears, she began to wail: Two-thirds of the lowest-paid Californians are women.
In a bid for equality, Hannah-Beth Baby felt the lowest two-thirds should be men.
Soon it was Handout Holly bursting into the picture.
Hand, as she is known to intimates, said she believes in poverty alleviation.
When a member of the audience said he, too, believed in that principle and resolved it by getting a job, Hand grimaced.
Handout (I Was Born for Welfare) Holly believes that families on welfare should able to increase their income (from other people’s wealth) as they have more babies.
Present law sensibly bars families from collecting fatter welfare checks just because they keep having babies.
Hand says there is nothing wrong with, and no difference between, having babies in or out of wedlock, a lovely stance for a legislator to assume.
Handout (Lordy, I Love Victimhood) Holly is a true believer in girls, single moms, immigrants, gays, transgenders, the Koch brothers (just kidding), select homosexual cows and for heaven’s sake, people of color being honored as lifelong victims of mean, ol’ white men. Three cheers for victimhood.
Having lost the vote on prom queen at her alma mater, cheerless Hand is running for Welfare Wuler in the state senate.
