Home OP-ED My House Has Shingles, ‘Cept They Ain’t on the Roof

My House Has Shingles, ‘Cept They Ain’t on the Roof

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[img]958|left|Alex Campbell||no_popup[/img]Dateline Boston — I think I get it. You’re sending me a message to take it easy. Relax. I must be really thick-headed that you’d get so drastic. Let’s see…in the fall, I had a recurrent sinus infection. In the winter, I took a trip to the ER with back spasms. Now it’s spring, and this season’s malady is a doozy: shingles.

Shingles. What a nasty name for a nasty affliction. It comes from the Latin word “cingulum,” which means, “girdle”, as in, around your waist. I guess that’s where most people get it. But you can also get it in a much more prominent area, like your face. Did you guess that’s where I got shingles? You’re right! Woke up one day with a rash on my face, dismissed it as contact dermatitis, and went about my business. I figured if it didn’t get better or got worse by the end of the week, I’d see my doctor.

Well, it got worse. The itching was so bad, I had to pace the house. It was a strange itching, too. It felt as if there were little spiders underneath my skin. I was sure they were going to come busting out of my jawline after a sufficient gestation period. In the middle of the night on Wednesday, I decided I was going to the doctor when I woke up in the morning.

I went to see a dermatologist. He peered closely at my face, which had the rash only on one side, and asked me on a scale of 1 to 10 how itchy I was. I quickly replied, “Ten.” I told him my face felt like it was alive. I asked him if spiders were going to crawl out of my face. He assured me that they wouldn’t.

He Said It with a Smile

He then told me he thought it was shingles. Shingles! I said, “I thought only old people got shingles!” He said, “Everyone gets shingles!” like it was something to celebrate. He then handed me three celebratory prescriptions. He said, “Take some time off work, and stay away from pregnant women.”

I nodded my head mutely and went, zombie-like, to fill my prescriptions. When the pharmacist handed me my meds, she said, “Do you have any questions?” I asked, “Why did this happen to me?” She gave me a pitiful look and said it would get better. The next day was Day 5 of the rash. At that point it looked as if the experiment in lab class had blown up in my face.

I was very good about not scratching, or even touching it. I did look at it. A lot. When my face is not disfigured by the chicken pox virus suddenly awakening from a 25-year-old nap, I look in the mirror often. After I got shingles, I had never looked in the mirror so much in my life. Every chance I got, I scrutinized my face; disgusted, yet fascinated. When I wasn’t checking my look, I was sleeping or watching TV. At one point my face was so itchy, I got desperate and tried a home remedy for itch relief.

Note to self and to others for whom this might apply: If you have sensitive skin and get a rash on your face and it’s really, really itchy, do not soak a washcloth in apple cider vinegar and water and apply it to your face. Even if it’s organic vinegar. You will unknowingly give yourself a chemical peel. This especially applies to people with fair skin, blue eyes, and blond hair. Even if you pay someone to make you have blond hair. My face didn’t like that, and it showed.

Shingles is, apparently, very common. At least eight of my friends have either had shingles or know someone who did. It’s a topic that is rarely discussed, and now I understand why. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. You have a terrible looking rash that either hurts or itches like crazy. You feel tired and icky. You can’t socialize. The rash lasts 2-3 weeks.

Finally, on Day 9 of my shingles shenanigans, I turned a corner. My face went through its process (I’ll spare you the gory details), and the old me started to return. I’m not all the way back to normal yet, but I’m on my way. The first thing I want to do is run to the dermatologist’s office and show them what I really look like. The next thing I’ll do is check my pillow for spiders. I’m still not convinced.

Ms. Campbell may be contacted at snobbyblog@gmail.com