For the only time in American history:
A deserter soldier extravagantly is welcomed home by the White House in a champagne ceremony with his mommy and pony-tailed daddy, lavishly lauded by the obviously wise National Security Advisor, and then, after a proper 10-month pause to distract the electorate, said traitor formally is charged with hooking up with the Muslim jihadists to kill his former comrades.
Two keen-eyed, pipe-smoking pillars of Yankee journalism, The New York Times and the Los Angeles Times, employing the subtlety of a wrecking ball, deftly recognized the sui generis status of the landmarker in this morning’s editions.
In New York, the Times rated the story’s importance No. 6, just below U.S. Strikes ISIS in Tikrit, Pilot Locked Out of Cockpit, Veterans Hurt by Chemicals, Saudis Hit Yemen and Rebuilding Ukraine After 160 Bombings. In Los Angeles, the deserter was No. 3 below Militants in Yemen Loot U.S. Spy Files and a confusing report about the confused mayor of San Francisco.
When the two Timeses, known for their journalistic cowardice, refuse to do a same-day editorial on one of the biggest developments of the year, that is irrefutable evidence that they know they have been scored, and they are trying to create a fictional path away from this stick of dynamite.
These two girly newspapers, who refuse to criticize President Obama for fear of being called racist, who label terrorists “militants” for fear of retaliation by Muslims, Republicans as extremists and Democrats as mainstreamers, emulate a well-known oldtimer, Ted Cooke. When embarrassment beckons, they dive under the desk instead of accepting their spanking as punishment.
This is what formerly muscular journalism has come to, cowering left-wing toadies, midgets of their profession, shielding their faces with used hankies.
The once again humiliated president of the United States has not been called out for his ignominious (deliberate) gaffe because, surprise, he is hiding under the desk with the rest of the left-wing cowards.
In both newspapers, David Cloud for Los Angeles and round Helene Cooper for New York, the reporters burbled, gurgled, dropped their eyes and repeatedly said to their readers, “you won’t be interested in this narrative. It is as unexciting as the color gray.”
But being honorable leftists, they did give us a few laughs, stoutly defending the disgraced traitor Bowe Bergdahl to his end. His mates knew immediately he deserted. He sent his belongings home to his quirky parents, he denounced the United States, the military and our attitude toward his new fellow Muslims.
Quoting heavily from a deserter diary, Helene said he was really honorably intentioned.
The clouded Mr. Cloud said that only foggy-minded conservatives were ticked off because the traitor was exchanged for bad guys.
Last May, President Obama, invoking the memories of Groucho Marx and Mae West, exchanged the known deserter for the five most brutal Muslim jihadists in captivity.
Groucho or Barack brought the deserter and his smiling parents to the Rose Garden where somebody should have been planted and buried before they left.
With President Obama having attached a rusty paper clip to his rusty lips when the deserter finally was charged yesterday by either the Salvation Army or the real one, the Comedy Central award for boob-filled writing goes to the rain-besotted Mr. Cloud.
He noted that nutty National Security Advisor Susie-Bell Rice, believed to have escaped from a Camarillo hospital, said, infamously, the traitor had served our country “with honor and distinction.”
But not to worry, the reporter said defensively. She was, uh, misunderstood.
Ms. Rice, according to Mr. Cloud, said she needed to clarify her punchline after the traitor was charged yesterday and faces a possible life term, plus the loss of cable television privileges for a week.
Ms. Rice said – seriously, wrote Mr. Cloud – that her comments “referred to his decision to enlist at a time of war.”
See, Obama-lying is infectious.
