Making Aliyah Taught Me That ‘Bureaucracy’ Is Israel’s Middle Name

I had visited Israel a few times, always feeling like I was coming home. But since everyone has a fantastic time when they vacation there, I wondered what it would be like to actually live In Israel.

For some reason or another I never had the opportunity to make aliyah until eight months ago, and it took almost six months prior to that to prepare for this monumental event in my life.

I had spoken about making aliyah for years. My close friends kept telling me I would eventually take the step.

A Handy Tip

A fellow cop friend of mine in New York told me of an organization that facilitates people making aliyah. They do the necessary paperwork on the plane so that you don’t have to hassle with the bureaucracy. Bureaucracy is Israel’s middle name.

They also enable you to change your name to that of a Hebrew one.

I chose Shachar.

I went to their lecture in Los Angeles, viewed their video of others making aliyah, and listened to everyone’s comments about their experiences when they stepped onto Israeli ground. “I am home

” was almost a unanimous response.

I knew that night I was going to make aliyah.

Let the Fun Begin

I closed my law office, gave away personal belongings, and began the process of passports, visas, notarizing documents, ordering transcripts and sending my furniture via ship to Israel.

The only problem I had was that my family thought I was abandoning them to live in a “war zone.” And, perhaps it might seem that way from what I described in my last article.

However, I look at things from a different perspective.

My furniture traveled from Los Angeles via ship to China and then transferred to another ship going to Israel. It arrived two months before I did.

Should We Ever Make Plans?

My original plans were to stay with my ex-husband’s cousins (we are still close even though I have been divorced many years) for approximately a week until I could find an apartment.

I was told by the Jewish Agency that I was too old to go to an absorption center. Nothing like feeling like a senior citizen when you haven't quite reached that milestone yet! Lesson No. 1: Don't make plans.

I flew from Los Angeles to New York. Somehow I was the last to board and felt lucky to make the flight.

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The loudspeaker at the airport kept calling my name, and I started to panic.

Help Me, Please

I asked a pilot from another airline to please tell my airline that I was running as fast as I could but my shoes were falling off my feet and I was so bogged down with carry-on luggage that I just couldn't run fast enough.

That pilot grabbed my carry-on and literally ran to my airline gate, which was at the end of the terminal. He convinced my airline to hold the flight for me. I arrived on the East Coast and then flew to Tel Aviv.

As per my modus operandi, I arrived in Israel with a raging fever and bronchitis. I don't know why it is, but I have never arrived in Israel healthy. I always start off healthy but by the time I get off the plane, I am sick.

Now, About Security

El Al security in Newark was very good.

I was perspiring so much from the fever .

I think the El Al questioners thought I was unusually nervous and possibly suspicious.

They asked the normal questions about who packed my bags, were they ever out of my sight, etc.

But it didn't end there.

They asked me about whether I was carrying any b o m b s….then they asked me why I never learned Hebrew as a child, my children’s Hebrew names, then more b o m b questions, how many times I had been to Israel and what for, and then more of the b o m b questions.

Finally I could bring my luggage to the counter. At least this time the suitcases did not set off all the alarms when they went through the x-ray machine.

Last time I traveled to Israel, El Al had to clear the area because of all the metal in my suitcase. I had brought pots and pans and canned food with me because I found that it is difficult to find glatt kosher food in Israel.

When I mentioned it to people, I was told that Israel is not a Jewish country, but a country where Jews lived, and that most Jews there do not keep glatt kosher.

I could not believe what I was hearing.