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A Veteran Who Should be Honored, It Says Here

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Re “Hide the Editor, Not the Plastic

I'm sorry I was unaware of your wounded veteran status.

I honor all war veterans.

I'm afraid however that you may have misinterpreted my criticism as “well-intended.”

At any rate, thank you for the service you do our community, including all of us childless, single, extreme, unemployed, abstract, immoderate, lazy environmentalists.

Ala Stephen Colbert, you are a master satirist.

Surely, many of your readers make the mistake of taking your writings literally and do not pick up on the satirical subtext.

Thanks for all you do for the progressive cause here in Culver City.

I eagerly await your future work.

Mr. Province may be contacted at jprovince@yahoo.com

Ari Noonan comments: Succinctly, so do I.

In a scant 95 words, the letter-writer sent me through 6¼ separate, emotionally conflicted dimensions.

After the next round of letters, one of us will have to hire a psychiatrist, if we can coax one away from the Extremely Intelligent, Extremely Unemployed, Extremely Arcane boys and girls who have been cleverly co-opted into the Occupy Wall Street movement.

I am not sure whether the letter-writer misunderstood yesterday’s comments or was serving me a spoonful of my own medicine.

I explained my wounds were incurred in marital wars, not martial wars.

Since the letter-writer is self-identified as single, childless and extreme, I appreciate his sympathy for my marital hardships I bravely endured in order — being old-fashioned — to expand the planet by four.

(Now I suppose we will hear from one of the left-wing nut groups, Peta or MALDEF or the National Alliance of Far-Out Churches that we should de-populate the planet so one-legged baby seals can live longer and give under-employed environmentalists something to kvetch about.)

Since the letter-writer admitted his criticism was not “well-intended,” and since Daddy Swish has ordered soft Americans always to have at least one adult in the room, I will take the role. I assure the letter-writer my criticism of environmentalists and the assorted underemployed cultural screwballs who populate the left is sincerely intended to educate.