For weeks I have been listening to the political campaigns, both Presidential and City Council.
I am amazed at how much they talk and how little they say. They speak in little catch phrases that people make into what they want.
The biggest nothing that has been said recently is that the candidate is for change.
What does that mean?
Repeal the tax cuts? That is a change.
Make the tax cuts permanent? That is a change.
Seal the borders? That is a change.
Open the borders? That is a change.
All for Change — Without Diapers
Every candidate who is not an incumbent or following a popular incumbent will campaign on the need for change.
So saying that they are for change really says nothing about the candidate.
There are other phrases that pop up in campaigns but mean nothing.
In every School Board election there will be candidates who say they are running for the children.
This differentiates the candidate from his opponents because the opponents are for the wombats?
What He Really Means
And the ever popular “I will unite both sides.” This doesn’t mean that the candidate plans to compromise to arrive at solutions. What he means is that he thinks his ideas are so superior and he is so dynamic that when he is given the opportunity, people will come to his position.
Just more talk, saying nothing.
Another favorite is when the candidate says that, unlike his opponent, he is an outsider. This implies that the insiders are on the take.
Is this message for us or for the people who are enriching the insiders, stating that the new candidate soon will be available for enriching?
In a Feb. 8 article in this newspaper, “Council Candidates Promise Everything Short of (Harry) Culver’s Resurrection,” there was talk of how the candidates pledged to bring more benefits to the city in the next four years than founder Harry Culver achieved in a lifetime.
Bones, and That Is All
We hear politicians promising things but not indicating how they will achieve them or pay for them.
It is like a skeleton — all bones but no meat or muscle.
These types of promises have been more prominent in national elections where the candidates never really have to face the electorate. You won’t run into the candidates for President in Pavilions some evening. This activity has now trickled down to the local level.
All this activity reminds me of the story about a man who died suddenly. As he arrives in heaven, he is met at the entrance by St. Peter.
First You Need to be Tested
“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter.
“Please let me in,” says the man.
“Well, I’d like to, but I have our procedures. You will have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”
With that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down to hell.
The doors open. He finds himself in the middle of a beautiful country club.
This Is a Hecukva Joint
Standing there are all his friends and other people who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy. They run to greet him, to reminisce about the good times they had.
They play a friendly game of golf, and then they dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy. He has a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are having such a good time but then he realizes it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.
Trying Out Something New
The elevator goes up, and the doors open in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
“Now it’s time to visit heaven,” says St. Peter.
Twenty-four hours pass with the man joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp, singing with a choir.
They have a good time. When the 24 hours are over, St. Peter returns.
“Well, you’ve spent a day in hell and another day in heaven,” he says. “Now choose your eternity.”
Surprising but Not a Tough Choice
The man reflects for a minute, then he answers:
“I never would have thought I would have said it before. I mean, heaven has been delightful. But I think I would be better off in hell.”
St. Peter escorts him to the elevator, and the man goes down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open, and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
Are My Eyes Deceiving Me?
He sees all of his friends dressed in rags, picking up the trash. The devil comes over to him and puts an arm around his shoulder.
“I don’t understand,” stammers the man.
"The other day I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse. We ate lobster and caviar, we drank champagne. We danced and had a great time.
“Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage, and my friends look miserable. What happened?”
Why the Transformation?
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, “The other day I was campaigning. Today you voted.”
We need to pay more attention to politicians, both national and local, during campaigns.
We need to make them flesh out the skeletons of their promises.
We need to be sure we don’t end up with a desert when we think we are getting a country club.
Tom Supple may be contacted at tomjsup@ca.rr.com
