Flat Tire of Sacramento, the oldest and, happily, most successful failure as a governor in North America, took another pratfall yesterday.
Like a naughty boy who knows he has done wrong but can’t help himself, the doddering old codger tried to raise your taxes and mine for the 25th time since January.
If he didn’t have both of his gnarled hands in your pockets and mine, we could run away from this loon.
Eying next November’s ballot, he wants to raise taxes on persons earning $250,000 by 1 percent to 2 percent, and wants to increase sales tax by half a cent.
We are supposed to feel better because the bitter loser promises this confiscation is just temporary, for a speedy five years.
When Did Liberals Give Back?
You do remember all of the “temporary” taxes the three-term boob has retracted, don’t you? None, pal.
It is a lie.
To show you how long the liar has been in office, he described his proposal as “straightforward and fair.”
Yeah, the way a bank robber is empathetic.
Bragging about his admirable candor, Gov. Tire lacked the courage to face reporters, much less voters. Hunkering under a desk, eyes shooting from left to right, he sent out a press release while simultaneously emailing thousands of gullible voters.
Since he is circumventing the jokesters in the Legislature, he is forced to lower himself to signature-gathering to put this proposal on the ballot alongside three or four others, a situation hopefully designed to turn off voters.
Surely you remember the story of the Three Pigs, and how wolfie, by darn, was going to blow down their house.
Yeah, sure.
Gov. Tire pulled that laughable old line out of his crooked satchel one more time yesterday.
World Will End, I Guarantee
“The stark truth,” said Gov. Tire, “is that without new tax ‘revenues,’ we will have no other choice but to make deeper and more damaging cuts to schools, universities, public safety and our courts.”
Here come the rats.
Resorting to Swishy’s fraudulent blathering, Gov. Tire said that, by golly, nurses, teachers, firefighters and cops will be hit, and bad guys will be haunting our streets.
The childless, coldhearted governor — to whom school cuts are meaningless — can’t cut bloated, crime-ridden “social justice” scams because his underworked legislators won’t let him. That is why 90 percent of them are in Sacramento, and why Mr. Tire is circumventing the state Senate and Assembly.
Behaving in the manner of a fading comic who has told the same tired joke since Madonna was a kid, Gov. Tire pulls his shrinking self up to tippy toes and classily threatens voters, the way the left always does when it is turned back by normal people.
Remember how crudely Gov. Tire tried to push through sales, income and vehicle taxes throughout the first six months of this year? Thankfully, he was foiled by the miniature minority of Republicans.
Like all loyal Dems, he thinks our money is his and that he knows best how to blow our money.
The Los Angeles Titanic, the old man’s most reliable media stooge, was so embarrassed by Monday’s antics that they tried to bury the news in the second section of the newspaper.
Gov. Tire can’t believe he has struck such a bare patch of road. Owing to a combination of minority Republicans and smart voters, he has not been able to pass any “revenue” bills this year.
Pulling his soiled, ill-fitting cowboy hat over his eyes, he is trying to look and act desperate.
He has been trying all year to wipe out the state’s 400 redevelopment agencies and collect hundreds of millions of my dollars and yours from nearly broke little towns. What a he-man.
With your alertness and help, the angry old man will stretch his losing streak past two dozen.
Acting like a kid who can’t interpret the Gregorian calendar, since it is December, Gov. Tire draws a cheap, crinkly Halloween mask tightly over his sagging, wrinkled face.
Looking you directly in the ear, he says “Boo.”
Having tried for all 12 months he has been in office to jump taxes so he can continue to spend like a alcoholic camped out on a bulging wallet, the governor has compiled a dreadful record.
No chief executive in any state has been punched in the nose as many times as our dear ol’ Flat Tire has by his own people.
“Gotta keep pumpin’ money into them there social justice programs,” Gov. Tire tells his staff every morning.
Greasy, oily, slippery and unprincipled, Gov. Tire says if this scheme doesn’t work, he has another design in mind.
