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Jobs, Jobs, Jobs, Tra La La — I Am Steve. Who Are You?

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Alert readers of this newspaper this week were treated to at least four treasured lessons for understanding American life for as long as President Fudd — who says that Steve Jobs is his new favorite celebrity — is playing with blocks in the White House.

Before enumerating them, it should be noted that since the depressing F(I Ain’t That Smart)DR administration, Democrats have targeted the lightest thinkers in the country to form their base. This accounts for the repeated elections of Roosevelt, and the victories of Truman, Kennedy, Johnson, Carter, Clinton and Obama.

Within the last 24 hours, our liberal essayists have told us that:

• Republicans could shed their minor party status in California if they would stop “alienating most Latino voters with tough anti-illegal immigrant rhetoric.”

• If they would stop alienating “gay voters by opposing same-sex marriage.”

• If they would stop alienating “African Americans by fighting anything that smacks of affirmative action.”

What civil and moral giants our betters are.

To quote from a separate essayist, you probably were unaware of the following revelation that evidently has become fact for the Angry Left in the last 24 hours:

I quote:

• “How much time would it take to demonstrate to the American people that it’s not the rich who create jobs? It’s the poor and middle class who create jobs by buying goods and services.”

And Zeus created heaven, earth, pizza pie and pastafazul.

No wonder we were told President Fudd is a math marvel. He divides by class.

Cogitate over the imaginative above reasoning for a few minutes. Don’t scratch your head or you will go bald trying to justify their creativity.

Almost instantly, you will understand why Democrats must rely on lightweight people who regard the funny pages as literature, who sneak over the border on their bellies, who regard minimum wage jobs as positions to put them into office.

Surely no one else would fall for such egregious ruses.

I try to watch MSNBC and CNN on a regular basis to understand what the dreadfully overmatched President and his minions are thinking.

Do you remember Huntley and Brinkley, the old days when you could tune in to NBC and gain a fair idea of the news of the world for that day?

Even the left-wing Walter Cronkite attempted to look objective.

On MSNBC, the dependably infuriated fat guys — Schultz, Dyson, Sharpton — are unlistenable.

Thank heaven Larry O’Donnell at 8 has exquisite taste: To expertly dissect the latest Republicans vs. Democrats dispute the other night, Mr. O’Donnell, who is said to be just as brutally angry when he is asleep, hosted the lovely Bill Maher.

Somebody needs a saliva test.

Could you imagine President Eisenhower inviting Martin and Lewis to the White House in the 1950s to explain Sputnik or the rioting in Little Rock to him?

The entire above text would have been fodder for the Jack Benny Show if there had been a Republican in the White House instead of Elmer Hussein Fudd.