A new study suggests that Twitter is the root cause of the current economic malaise. Policy experts predict a Twitter moratorium may be declared for summer as part of an effort to stimulate economic production and reverse GDP declines.
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According to the author of the study, Martin Schmeldon, a professor at Harvard Business School, the rapid rise of Twitter usage in 2008 correlates very strongly with a tremendous decrease in American productivity. Schmeldon’s regression analysis on the data suggests a causal relationship that actually may be larger than the impact of the much-touted sub-prime collateral debt financing triggers.
No one really knows how it really got started.
April 1: Pranks and Fools’ Errands
Maybe it all began in the 16th century when the Pope arbitrarily changed New Year’s Day from April 1 to Jan. 1. Unlike today, news of the papal edict travelled slowly. By the time the calendar change reached the hinterlands, they already were wearing their party hats and popping champagne to celebrate.
They didn’t know they’d already missed the party.
Is it my imagination or are there many, many more April Fools' gags this year?
Driving to the office this morning, every radio station was running a prank story.
There was the correspondent reporting from an invented island about a new and as yet untapped energy discovery.
There was the reporter describing an economic bailout for downtrodden Wall Street executives as a viable means to stimulate the economy.
And then there was the analyst who reported that unemployment had increased for the 15th consecutive month.
I think he was serious.
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My theory is this: A booming economy is bad for gags.
Everybody is taking life too seriously. We’re so busy making money we don’t have time to fool around. Honestly, what is so funny about a fat 401k or a job with health benefits?
But with the world economy down the drain, we all need a laugh. Perhaps this explains the Three Stooges. I know that I’m supposed to chuckle. But how many times can a pie in the face really be funny?
I guess it depends on your circumstances.
We have a natural instinct for lightening up when everything around us is turning darker. This may be the real origin of gallows humor.
Laughter is a survival instinct. If you look hard enough, levity can be found nearly everywhere you look.
Is Chase a Bank or Obama-Brown?
Take the G-20 meetings in London.
Here you have a bunch of guys and a couple of gals dressed in their Sunday best, sipping tea and munching crumpets with the notion that they can yank the world out of its economic abyss from the comfort of their club chairs.
These guys can’t even agree on the seating chart for lunch. How can they expect to tackle a world economy in crisis during just two days of meetings?
Maybe it would lighten the mood if President Obama or British Prime Minister Gordon Brown chased one another with squirt guns. How about whoopee cushions for every delegate. A pie fight between Germany’s Angela Merkel and China’s Hu Jintao would be a hoot.
Or maybe they could roll up their sleeves, cast aside their petty differences and come up with a serious plan to prevent this type of meltdown from happening again.
Now that would be funny.
John Cohn is a senior partner in the Globe West Financial Group, based in West Los Angeles. He may be contacted at www.globewestfinancial.com
