[img]396|left|Alex Campbell||no_popup[/img]Re “Imagine the Horror!”
Dateline Boston — It happened again. Today someone dropped off a tent at school for someone to borrow, and they left it in a child’s cubby. It was all packed up in a bag, and it was propped up vertically. I remarked to a couple of parents that it looked like a body (as in, dead body stuffed into a duffel bag), and they were horrified. Hmm…there’s that “sick imagination” thing, combined with that “no filter, say exactly what you’re thinking” thing. Bad combo.
But it made me curious. I went through my photos to find pictures I had taken of horrible scenes I had come upon at school. Some scenes I had set up, I’ll admit. I’ll go through the photos and explain the situation of each one. Please follow along. Do you see what I see?
[img]864|left|||no_popup[/img]We have this puzzle at school. It has locks on it, supposedly for fine motor coordination practice. I call it “Breaking and Entering Practice.”
[img]867|left|||no_popup[/img]We had a toy airplane for a really long time. Every time a part of it broke, we would repair it with duct tape, and the kids kept on playing with it, year after year. After awhile, I had a little fun and named it “Risky Airlines.” The motto was, “We’ll get you there…maybe.” When I deemed it beyond repair, it was given back to its original owner, now a grown man. I hope he saw the (sick) humor.
[img]865|left|||no_popup[/img]In the block room, I came upon a very detailed scene of a wedding. I don’t know who set it up, but here’s what I saw: a kangaroo and an orangutan getting married, officiated by a bull. Must have been a wild wedding, because the zebra police showed up. People, I couldn’t make this stuff up. Well, maybe I could.
[img]869|left|||no_popup[/img]Another time, I took a picture of a gruesome scene; the kids set it up, I swear. There was a group of people all lying down (remember, they can’t stand by themselves), surrounded by a huge circle of big cats: tigers, lions, cheetahs. You don’t really need to have an overactive imagination to see what was going to happen next. I shuddered at clean-up time. At least I saved the people from becoming a feline feast.
[img]868|left|||no_popup[/img]I’m not making this one up — a kid brought in a convertible car that had a trunk that opened, and at one point during the day, the doctor doll was inside the trunk. Yes, my mind went there. Maybe Dr. Jones botched Vinny’s wife’s liposuction, and Dr. Jones was being…taken care of. I prayed that Dr. Jones had her cell phone with her and that it was set to vibrate.
[img]866|left|||no_popup[/img]Here’s a scene I did set up. One of my girls brought in a Barbie doll, who was wearing a long top that to me looked like a maternity top. I crumpled up a piece of paper and put it in Barbie’s shirt, took a picture, then showed the girl. I said, “Look, Barbie’s pregnant, just like your mommy!” She took one look, paused, then replied, “Barbie says no.” Barbie lost that baby weight in a hurry. The good news from that story is that I use that photo to make cards for people to give to expectant mothers. That photo has made me at least twenty-four dollars.
My job is always entertaining. How many people can say that?
Ms. Campbell may be contacted at campbellalexandra@hotmail.com
