Dateline Boston — I’m a preschool teacher. I’m patient, kind, loving and creative. The motto at our school is, “Have Fun, Be Safe, and Use Your Imagination.” I take it to heart. Sometimes a little too much with the imagination part.
We have a block room at school that has lots of toys in it: blocks, trains, train tracks, dollhouses, cars, and little plastic animals and people. The people are great. They’re all ethnicities, all ages, from kids to grandparents. They have a variety of occupations. The only problem with them is that they can’t stand up by themselves. You have to prop them up with something, or worse, just lay them down.
[img]861|exact|||no_popup[/img]
[img]860|exact|||no_popup[/img]
One time, I walked into the block room and came upon a structure of blocks in the configuration of a rectangle. Inside the rectangle were about six of the plastic people, each one lying down on a block. I gasped, because it reminded me of the Heaven’s Gate tragedy.
I visited another school and saw dolls very similar to ours. The only difference was that they could stand up by themselves! How did they do it? They had freakishly large feet. The poor things; they looked like clowns on their day off.
Don’t Tell the Children
Back at my school, a child handed me a car with a broken wheel. It wasn’t one of those tiny generic race cars. It was bigger than that, a Mini Cooper. The top was scratched. It looked a little beat up, especially with the missing wheel. I decided it would be a perfect setup to play “Car Insurance Fraud.” Just leave your fancy car unlocked in a sketchy neighborhood, and collect the insurance money when it gets trashed!
The doozy of horrific scenes happened just the other day. I opened up the plastic dollhouse mansion to find a bunch of mini dolls, all split in half at the waist. The idea of these dolls is that they’re mix and match. You can put the torso of one on the legs of another. I don’t know who came up with that idea, but it’s one of the worst in toy history, in my opinion. Someone had put the dolls in the house without putting them back together. I named the scene “Sorority House Massacre.”
I read true crime books and watch “Dateline” when I’m not teaching. I’ve always had a very active imagination. What can I say? I can’t help it if what I see in the block room isn’t as innocent as what a four-year-old might have intended. I’ll just keep it to myself (or tell all of you). Just don’t tell the children.
Ms. Campbell may be contacted at campbellalexandra@hotmail.com
