[img]541|left|Carter Dewberry||no_popup[/img] My mother’s disapproval was clear from her parting comment. “That is NOT acceptable.”
I doubted my gift, but only for a moment.
Then the memories began seeping in.
Memories of her driving me across the state to rehearsals and competitions.
Her taking care of me when I was sick or depressed after yet another grueling competition.
Her giving me a chunk of her family’s inheritance in the form of my cello.
Even now, well over a decade since she packed up her car with my stuff and dropped me off at my first dorm room, she is always there for me, waking early (and late) to answer my erratic calls, flying to be at my side during surgery.
Who Thought to Say ‘Thanks’?
She has given me immeasurable gifts for over 30 years. And I, as children do, have accepted these gifts, first without a second thought, but in the past few years with increased appreciation.
Today I asked her for another kind of gift, one she apparently finds harder to give. I asked her to receive.
I can understand her reaction, as I struggle with the same response when offered a gift free of the unstated social barter system where we keep tabs on the backs we have scratched for when we need a favor.
Not that there is anything wrong with give and take.
But sometimes it feels even better to give just to give, because the feeling of pure joy on a loved one’s face when we can offer them an experience, a treat, is worth more than any bartered tender.
I have learned the corollary to a mother’s selfless love. And I long to share it with the one who has been such a shining example. So I ask my mom, please accept my gift.
You will be giving me that much more.
Ms. Dewberry, an accomplished cellist, completed her DMA in Chamber Music Performance from UCLA in December 2005. She received her MM in Cello Performance from UCLA in June 2002 and her B.M. in Cello Performance from Western Michigan University in April 1998. She also holds a B.A. in French with a minor in Women's Studies and Philosophy.
Her website is www.carterdewberry.com
She may be contacted at carter@carterdewberry.com
