[img]96|left|Shachar||no_popup[/img]Dateline Jerusalem — Israelis are not shy.
They are an outspoken and curious species.
It is not unusual for them to ask questions that demand answers. Where else in the world would strangers ask you your salary, your bank balance or what you paid for your home?
A common question is “Kama zeh oleh?” (“How much does this cost?”) You cannot claim that those are personal or private matters. Israelis will persist until you provide them with the requested information.
Do not try to fib or gloss over the truth. The average Israeli has completed at least three years of military training and knows by the tone of your voice, the involuntary movement of your eyes and your body language whether you are a liar. When it comes to politics, your party (over 30 of them) and candidate choice and who you voted for or intend to vote for is the topic of conversation even in the checkout line at the supermarket, the doctor's office, or train ride home from work. Be prepared to give your entire medical history to these people you have never seen before.
Because Israelis are forthright and open about every aspect of their lives, and yours, it is not unusual for strangers on the bus to invite you to their home for a Shabbat dinner or somehow find your phone number and call you up to join them for lunch. Often Israelis on the street will ask if you have a place to go for a holiday. If you hesitate, you will find invitations to all holiday meals. Where else in the world can you accept such an invitation without fear of robbery, molestation or who knows what?
Well, Are You?
One of the most often asked questions is “Are you married?,” followed by “Do you have a single son/daughter?” These questions are asked of young and old alike. Everyone in Israel is an amateur matchmaker. If they do not have a brother or sister, recently divorced or widowed parent, army buddy or best friend available, they will find you a mate or suggest a shadchan (matchmaker) to do so. I was only in Israel three weeks when a security guard at a store handed me the number of his wife's relative who was looking for a woman to marry.
Supposedly if a person makes three matches that work out and do not end up in divorce, that special person is rewarded with an automatic place in The World To Come. One of my friends is known for making “difficult” matches. Although at the time I was not considered one of the “difficult” ones, I was one of her failures and have since become “difficult.”
I have four friends who have made me their ” pet project,” to match me with someone, but nothing has worked out. They have not given up, nor have I. One of these days I will find my beshert (soul-mate), someone who does not care that I own or watch TV, or someone who will want me not because he thinks I am a rich attorney and he hasn't worked in a year and then drops me when he finally gets a job and doesn't need someone to support him, or someone who has teeth, or someone who talks to me instead of stares at me and says he is “contemplating” (what, I have no idea), or someone who will love me for my inner being and not make me promise to never gain weight, or someone who does not mind that I am twice divorced. Am I asking for too much? I guess I am difficult.
I find it so easy to write this piece since my life has become an open book after moving to Israel. No topic is sacred. Israel has many freedoms, the only democracy in the middle east, and one of the greatest freedoms of all is freedom of speech.
L'hitraot. Shachar
