I Am a Composer

I could taste the silence when I accidentally let it slip that I was just beginning to score a film.

I was in Fresno celebrating the completion of the 4th Cal State Fresno New Music Festival with a room full of composers decorated with degrees worth more than a celebrity’s jewels, and I was known as the cellist – not as that sort of colleague.

I was caught by surprise at Tricia’s astounded reaction. Then I realized that this student, whose dream it was to compose film music, had been studying and imagining the moment when she would be able to use those words. I, as a cellist, threw them out as though I was discussing the latest episode of TV not worth watching.

I laughed and explained that this wasn’t going to be a “real” score for orchestra or anything, that I was writing something for multiple cello voices, loop samples, ambient sounds, all spiced with a few piano and oboe moments.

She just stared.

And I realized that I was wrong. Even while I may not be writing music for a Hollywood blockbuster, I am still composing a very tangible – and very real – score. Which means I am a composer.

Scary.

Out in the car my friend chuckled at my awkward response and suggested I call myself a songwriter to relieve some of the pressure in academic circles where music is rated as much (or, dare I say, more?) on form as it is the emotional journey it evokes.

I smiled and thought to myself, “No, I think it is time to call the kettle black. I am a composer.”

Ms. Dewberry, an accomplished cellist, completed her DMA in Chamber Music Performance from UCLA in December 2005. She received her MM in Cello Performance from UCLA in June 2002 and her B.M. in Cello Performance from Western Michigan University in April 1998. She also holds a B.A. in French with a minor in Women's Studies and Philosophy.

She may be contacted at carter@carterdewberry.com