[img]1361|left|||no_popup[/img] Dateline Boston – I’m getting married in less than two weeks. My last day of the school year is over. I don’t have to go to work. Then why am I sitting on the couch, watching What Not to Wear reruns?
For one, I’m healing. I was at the tattoo parlor for four hours last night, finishing up the ink on my right arm. Mission accomplished! My dress is back from the cleaners. My fascinator is ready. Everyone keeps asking me what a fascinator is. What? Didn’t everyone watch The Royal Wedding last year? No? Huh. Well anyway, a fascinator is one of those fancy hats the Brits wear to weddings and such. They often have feathers, and are tilted to the side. When I saw all those hats on TV, I knew I had to have one for my wedding.
My fascinator is made with white feathers on a white headband. There’s a puff of curled feathers on the side, and three feathers shaped like arrows that stick up out of the fluff. It’s quite dramatic. When I asked the milliner what kind of feathers were used, she said that the arrows were turkey quills. She bleached and cut them. Did you know that turkey quills grow in different directions? Makes sense if you think about it. I didn’t think about it until the milliner told me she had run out of right directional quills and had to order more.
She wasn’t as upfront about the other feathers. When I asked, she mumbled something about domestic birds. Yes, folks, I will be wearing chicken feathers on my head at my wedding. It’s environmentally sound. I eat turkeys and chickens; why shouldn’t I complete the circle? It’s perfect.
So. Ink—check. Dress—check. Headgear—check. Marriage license—check. All I have to do is show up, right? Yep. I’m going to Illinois on my honeymoon. Right now I’m just in a state of denial, so here I sit. The details are right in front of my face. I just have to flip through this five-page timeline/spreadsheet my friends have created. Wish me luck.
Ms. Campbell may be contacted at snobbyblog@gmail.com
