[img]560|left|Nicholas D. Pollak||no_popup[/img]I know a man who thought he had his life together until one day he was laid off by his employer. After working for the for the company for 14 years, he did not know what he was going to do.
Over the next 18 months, his life deteriorated. He was unable to find any alternative employment.
Employers told him he was overqualified, too old or would cost the company too much in wages and benefits.
Meanwhile, his unemployment was running out. He was forced to start selling possessions to make ends meet. But the sale money merely went to paying off what he was selling.
His situation appeared hopeless and was reflected in his every action. He had lost hope.
I pointed out to him that if he were to spend less time thinking of his problems and more time thinking of the successes he had enjoyed and the vision of what he wants to do, could be of benefit to him. Accepting this suggestion, he tried. But his depression was so deep he did not really think he could dig himself out.
He wanted to be of value, but depression was sucking the life out of him.
How to Shed Friends
He didn’t talk to people unless it was unavoidable. His responses usually consisted of a surly yes or no. His friends wanted to help, but they quickly realized there was nothing they could do. He was lost.
He began to realize he would need to make drastic changes to his lifestyle to meet financial commitments.
When he began paring back, he started to make decisions necessary to scale back his lifestyle. Success followed. Gradually, his finances became more manageable. He began to feel better about himself.
After retraining for a different kind of work, he soon was employed again and meeting his financial obligations. .
His own ego had been getting in the way of his success. He was now working in a job that only a few months ago he had considered beneath him.
Being Useful Again
He liked working for his new company., and he found his self worth improving because he was working.
He had lost structure in his life. Even if once considered menial, work gave him a reason to get up everyday, a place to be.
As human beings, we are social animals. Withdrawing from contact with others becomes damaging. Strong feelings of isolationism occur. Disconnecting from society leads to depressive thinking.
Once in this downward spiral, it is incredibly difficult to break free.
One way to begin resolving these issues is to compartmentalize. Difficult as it may be, it is crucial to break the issues down into smaller pieces.
This gives you the opportunity to look at all pieces of the puzzle independently so the issues are more manageable, clearer.
The inability to move forward is broken, as, with each assessment of each compartment, solving creates a domino effect.
before you know it, your ability to function returns as your confidence is boosted by the continued resolution of issues.
You are thinking once again, testing new ideas or ones that have worked in the past.
In looking for solutions, it is important to approach from an objective standpoint. Objective thinking that must prevail because feelings are, well, just feelings.
An ex-smoker may have a strong feeling to smoke again. To recognize an urge is just a feeling. Objectively, the benefits of not smoking are far greater.
As difficult as your challenges may be, fighting feelings to allow your higher thinking to function and to be heard, is crucial to your success, happiness and prosperity.
We are an adaptive species, able to change with the circumstances presented to us. Remembering we have the ability to accept and to create change within change is a lesson quickly learned. If learned well, it is for life
A clinical hypnotherapist, handwriting analyst and expert master hypnotist, Nicholas Pollak may be contacted at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net
