Leave it to Sappy Sandy (My Gawd, I Love and Cherish All Victims, Especially Girls, Single Moms and Minorities) Banks to take a deliberate pratfall for the Ruse of the Week. That is what her essays in the Los Angeles Titanic should be called.
In a two-person class, Sappy did not graduate in the upper half. Swift is not her gift.
Sappy is the flip side of Casey Anthony — all the evidence is laid out for her, and still Sappy says, “I don’t believe it.”
The National Assn. for the Advancement of Colored (yep) People has been a flat tire, as out of step with society as a car horn in a symphony orchestra, since you and I sported hair of a different color.
A funeral dirge is playing in the background for this hydra-headed anachronism.
Meet My Partner
The NAACP held their “national” convention downtown last week, next door to the semi-annual assembly of the Wyoming Society for the Preservation of Candles in Public Places on Tuesdays.
The NAACP went out of vogue before the hateful George Wallace did — that is how long this iron horse has been irrelevant._ But our girl Sappy Sandy is no fan of reality. And so she does a fantasy interview on page A-2 with the desperate-for-any-publicity President of the NAACP, Ben Jealous.
Ms. Banks opens by telling us how once blacks were mistreated in America. Then she confesses that since enlightenment and segregation came to the most biased corners of our country, the NAACP no longer is needed.
But there only have been about two organizations in the history of the world that have voluntarily disbanded.
With “colored” people having been sufficiently helped, the NAACP is turning to a much safer task — I love this — “universal human rights and issues that keep people in poverty.”
These two little items fit under the heading of “Lifetime Job Preservation.” It’s a salary drive, baby. If the world lasts 14.1 trillion more years — or is that Swishy’s debt ceiling? — there always will be “universal human rights” and “issues that keep people in poverty” for underemployed busybodies to fuss over.
The Flop Side of Zev
If the wily Zev had thought so cleverly when unions to rescue Soviet Jews became unnecessary awhile back, he would not have had to submit himself to a flopped campaign for mayor or had to burden us with his excessive wisdom on the County Board of Supervisors.
I digress.
And so, just as Mr. Jealous and his NAACP minions are about to sprout wings and other such gimmickry to flee America and concentrate on saving the rest of this wonderful planet,
just in the St. Nick of time, according to Sappy Sandy, comes a study from the P.U. Research Center. Gad. A poker player’s paradise. Blockbuster bingo. The lottery, boys, has been won.
As dandy luck would have it, “the recent recession,” as Ms. Banks incisively described our current failings, “hit black communities the hardest, undoing years of economic growth and magnifying the instability that results from generations of playing catch-up.”
At that point, Mr. Jealous interrupted the interview with Sappy Sandy, urgently summoned a minion and ordered him to cancel the ship reservations for 5,000, who were to set sail in the morning on a world-retrieving mission.
“Thank almighty heaven they still need us at home,” the green-eyed Mr. Jealous, bubbled, abruptly ending the interview.
Ms. Banks, dazed, slue-footed on her way.
