The 99.1 percent of Americans who are not gay, who are secure, mature and choose not to flaunt their sexual desires, would like to courtly bow this morning before the left-wing radical editors of USA Today, the Los Angeles Times, The New York Times.
Boys, you deserve our enduring gratitude for exercising extravagant restraint.
By repeatedly stamping your patent leathers on the richly carpeted floors of your luxurious offices yesterday, boys, you were admirably able to convince your overzealous colleagues to practice balanced journalism in this morning’s editions.
Each of you was able to limit yesterday’s story of the legalization of gay marriage in certain parts of Alabama to the No. 1 story in today’s edition.
At all three newspapers, there was strong sentiment for devoting the entirety of this edition to the wonders, glories and unremitting joys of gay (we’ll show da bums) marriage in partially-enlightened Alabama.
While in the midst of our courtly bow, we want to thank the gay community (including numerous journalists at all three newspapers) for displaying the morally unique type of tolerance that has been typified by the most flamboyant members of the gay community’s Tolerance Society.
The most recent sample of the Tolerance Society’s tolerance of the 99.1 percent of American society not in its camp was exuberantly handed down the other day by the state Supreme Court, Gov. Brown’s mental Rainbow Coalition. The boys, girls and others who comprise the Brown court donned their robes (first at home, then at court), gathered in a squared circle, leaned a head on the boy, girl or other next to them, and mutely pondered a proposal by their – you will excuse the humorous concept — Ethics Advisory Committee.
The ethicists, who are not permitted to own lisps, but may own lispsticks, suggested from the depths of their own colorful robes that California join 21 states (including the old Soviet Union and the shiny new Islamic State) that state judges in California be barred from associating or participating with the Boy Scouts of America. The reason – Boy Scouts “show bias on the basis of sexual orientation.” Gay boys are eligible for the Scouts but gay and lesbian adult leaders and volunteers are banned.
Finally, the Supreme Court’s Ethics Advisory Committee attached a notable coda:
“After months of deliberation, we conclude state judges should not be forced to evict or disown any sons who are members of the Boy Scouts of America.”
Yet another pyrrhic victory heroically achieved by the Tolerance Society that gives a bad name to the 99.1 percent of gays who are genuinely tolerant.
