Home OP-ED Hizzoner and Her Honor in No Danger of Breaking Record for Smiles

Hizzoner and Her Honor in No Danger of Breaking Record for Smiles

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Please delete without reading below if you are easily offended by un-kind comments directed at those in L.A. political power…J.W.

…Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of political man and woman? The Spring Street Shadow knows…keep scrolling down and so shall you!…

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Amy and Eric, L.A.’s First Couple, but 500 miles from being L.A.’s Happiest Couple, obviously.

Kind Web Visitors: Which member of the L.A. City Council has been carrying on a hot and heavy sex affair that the victim/spouse being grossly cheated on is ever so blissfully unaware of? Some advice to the cuckolded mate: Check your significant other's dirty laundry for those nasty tell-tale love stains…Kind Visitors: Please don't shout out the correct name of the guilty Council member all at once…Some internet visitors believe Yours Truly overestimates Papa Gil's sway over Boy Eric when it comes to pulling the puppet strings over Kid Eric's swollen with nauseating self-pride head at City Hall…Instead they think that Lady Macbeth, aka Amy Garcetti or Frau Wakeland, has edged Grandpa Gil off to the side and is now clandestinely calling the Mayoral shots…

…Have you received that much-coveted gold-engraved invitation yet ? It means you gain full-access entrance to The Mighty LAANE's Mammoth City Hall 15th Floor exclusive wing-ding mega welcoming-reception humbly honoring the Exalted Little Prince of Castle Silverlake… LAANE is ground zero of the PC L.A. Universe and a painfully longtime employer of Amy when she had nothing better to do with her time except take care of her (6, count ‘em, 6) L.A. County foster children who since have disappeared without a trace from their marriage…

Remember that the last big Mayoral Shindig was the one during the previous, now-forgotten Administration where (nympho?)Public Works Commissioner Andrea Alarcon's little girl got lost in the middle of the night in the scary recesses of the shadowy City Hall Subterranean Garage while Mayor Antonio was upstairs in his private office canoodling with the kid's mom…

The Spring Street Shadow doesn't know who to feel sorrier for: The innocent City Hall wandering waif or her guilty mother stuck with the sweaty Mayor-at-the-time Antonio V who was pawing her all over on that very uncomfortable office lovemaking couch of his…

… The above Super Scandal was covered up quite neatly by the L.A. County Dept. of Children and Family Services with assistance from the Editor Maharaj at the Los Angeles Times….

Indicted ex-Councilman Papa Richard Alarcon's little dividend, Momma Andrea, beat the child endangerment rap she was facing. That now leaves “Mother of the Year from Hell” free to resume drinking and driving to her future heart's content as a private citizen with her baby girl strapped unsafely in the backseat…Speaking of Castle Silverlake, Lady Amy Macbeth is busy playing the role of hausfrau, and cleaning up their surprisingly sloppy, ill-kept abode as featured in a PC Dwell Magazine photo spread to show off to prospective renters on tour…Eric and Army are asking for one arm and an equal number of legs to temporarily occupy their digs…

Tricky Ricky, Lady Macbeth and their Baby Maya (of unknown genetic parental origin), are planning to desert for the Getty (Spaghetti) Mansion, off Wilshire, to transplant their wispy domestic roots really, really soon.

The nasty rumor persists that Reporter Dweeb David Zahniser has applied for the position of the Garcetti Family Mansion houseboy if the L.A. Times lets his sweetness go following the rapidly approaching sale of the faltering fish wrap to “The Things Go Better with 'Koch' Brothers Crowd”…

…Have you noticed that Boy Garcetti is beginning to look kinda, like, haggard lately? Here is the politically correct translation: “Have you discerned to what degree the New Mayor's physiognomy has altered, age-wise, stemming principally from the heavy stress Eric encounters while going about his day-to-activities made necessary by his brand new important political perch?”…The Mayor's office has picked up the vibes of a slick Madison Avenue NYC advertising agency whose sole mission is to constantly pitch The Little Prince's potentially-Presidential backside to the planet-wide news media…

Finally, no L.A. political gossip column would be complete without an item billboarding the now quasi-invisible Antonio Ramon Villaraigosa's cut-ups.

For our website visitors who are old enough to remember way back when Antonio still was sitting in office as the Mayor of the City of Lost “Angles,” it is now more than one whole month of Tony's futile pounding the pavement  in search of highly-paid employment… What a damned shame Tony V was forced out of office by that Un-reasonable City Charter that includes an “infamous career-ending term limits clause.” Meaning, there never will be a fulltime job at the end of the road for ex-Hizzoner, allowing him to make the kind of dough necessary to live like a modern day Roman Emperor the same way he's enjoyed since 2005 Inauguration Day!…

…The passed-over/living-in-the-past L.A. Mayor just made a quick trip (naturally not covered by the media) to Israel trying to sell that nation on hiring “himself”  for a high-paying PR job defending the official Israeli Party Line in front of the U.S. Hispanic community… Mr. No-Longer Mayor reminded everybody in Jerusalem with Tel Aviv clout what a great friend Phony Tony always had been to Israel…for the past lousy eight years,that is. But no mention of how Villaraigosa's  on-the-record position defending the State of Israel changed radically whenever Antonio was hobnobbing off-the-record with his close, wealthy, powerful Islamic-type friends ensconced here in L.A. …

…Poor Villaraigosa couldn't  even get a call back from secretaries of high Israeli government officials whose bosses used to kiss his tush when Antonio was in power. …Tsk, tsk, tsk…

…A faithful visitor to Hollywoodhighlands.orgwho bumped into an unrecognized by all-the-other-plane-passengers Antonio encountered on the way back from the Holy Land, says that the Former Mayor V looked a bit embarrassed to be traveling with his hindquarters planted firmly in a narrow, uncomfortable Coach Class airplane seat.

Oh, boy. How the once mighty have fallen…

…Till next we meet in cyber-space, Kind Visitors, never forget to remember that no matter how deep pols bury their ugly garbage scandals hollywoodhighlands.org vows to dig 'em all up, a strand at a time, and expose ‘em through this gossip column, Connecting the Triple Dots…

(Signed)
 
The Spring Street Shadow…

Mr. Walsh and his various incarnations may be tracked down at Hollywoodhighlands.org and at jwalshconfidential.wordpress.com