A young lady contacted me because she was experiencing great difficulty in having an orgasm while making love. Sex was an important part of her relationship with her fiancé. Not so much to her as to him.
She admitted she had faked it many times, until a week ago when her fiancé called her on it. She is concerned this will cause a rift. In her words, they are experiencing true love. She wants to please him.
Her history is a troubled one. Her unstable mother had multiple partners, resulting in multiple children. At age 11, her mother threw her out. Her foster parents drank, argued and treated her poorly. She ran away at 17, experimented with cocaine and a hooker’s life. Reversing the course of her life, she became a nurse – for three years. Temptation beckoned. She went back to being an escort.
Back on the Merry-Go-Round?
Earning a significant amount of money, she left again and returned to nursing. Ten years have passed since she was an escort but some aspects had not changed. Wasn’t she still allowing herself to be detached when it came to sex?
Opposites almost always attract in relationships, certainly the case here. Although she appeared outgoing, she had to work at it. Shyness was her true nature. Her boyfriend was the life and soul of any party, the motivator in their relationship. He liked to stay in bed and cuddle after sex. She wanted to get up and do something else.
As a nurse, why was she not opting for medical techniques? Or visiting a psychologist, psychiatrist? Because, she said, inability to relax was her problem. Hypnotherapy, in her mind, was the answer to relaxation.
Dear reader, we have spoken before about opposites attracting. With this couple, he wants sex every day. Her preference, every three days. His extremities always are warm, hers, cold. To explain: His constant readiness for sex gave him great blood circulation, keeping his extremities warm. She was self-protective. Her blood would rush to her internal organs to shield them, leaving her extremities cold. This made her hypersensitive, causing gentle touching to be irritating.
Once she understood the reasons for the differences in their behaviors, and that she was capable loosening up herself, she felt so much better she enjoyed her first orgasm. She understood that her prior profession had created a need to be detached from the sex act. That detachment was part of her behavior. She realized her sex drive was less than her fiancé’s, and that was okay with her.
She learned sex every three days was good for her. She agreed she needed to see herself making love mentally first. Absent a mental picture, nothing would happen for her.
This kind of person needs to be touched in different ways. She told her fiancé, kindly, when they were making love that there were better ways to touch her to elicit strong responses. Finally, she was to drink a glass of alcohol before sex. This would stimulate her blood flow. Areas of excessive sensitivity became less tender because her intake improved allowed for her to enjoy him in a more relaxed way. She now enjoys a wonderful sex life.
Do not hesitate to contact me by telephone, 310.204.3321, or by email at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net. See my website at www.hypnotherapy4you.net
