On the day after three Muslim mugwumps used bullets to laugh to death Parisian cartoonists who had offended their delicate obscene sensibilities, left-wing USA Today summoned a thimble of courage.
They would show a doubting world that even though they are liberal down to their painted toenails and pierced ears, none can impugn their sui generis bravery.
While every other flint-hearted soldier in journalism’s vast left-wing army cowered like a 5-year-old girl, diving under a couch rather than risk offending Muslim mugwumps, USA Today adjusted its shoulder pads, its spats, and wiped forehead perspiration with both thumbs.
Not only would they go where the rest of the lightweight lefties were afraid to tread, they would show Muslimists true moral superiority.
They would not print just one cartoon but 10, shoving the darned things into the Muslismists’ unwashed faces.
Left-wing courage, you see, differs from that of normal people.
The USA soldiers did not have the guts to reprint the Charlie Hebdo cartoons that offended the dimwit wing of Islam.
Oh, no.
Leading off with a headline that read “Thou shalt not apologize for cartoons,” they fooled us again.
Being loyal lefties, there was no there there. They ran 10 remarkably unfunny cartoons, powerfully lacking in irony. They were not the Charlie Hebdo cartoons ignited Islam’s dim wing wits.
A typical USA Today letdown.
Rem Rieder, the newspaper’s prissy media columnist, said there was no chance to see the cartoons in question because executive editor Dave Colton drank a bottle of courage yesterday morning and then said: The newspaper does not publish images of the prophet out of respect for religious believes.
Dave, baby, did not say whether he was the pot or the kettle.
I thought I never would stop exchanging knee slappers with the other 15 people in my office.
There were more tears in my eyes than in the orbs of Parisian mourners.
