[img]560|left|Nicholas D. Pollak||no_popup[/img]I met a man in a parking lot recently who wanted to sell me some meat. “No, thanks,” I said, and then I asked if he wanted to buy some hypnotherapy.
Said as a joke, it turned out he suffered from panic and anxiety, and he said hypnotherapy could help.
Panic and anxiety is my specialty. He called me two days later for an appointment.
When he arrived, I asked when he experienced panic and anxiety. Most recently when he came to my office, he said. As we talked, his desire to run out was growing stronger. Eventually, he calmed down.
Panic and anxiety had been an ongoing problem since childhood. When people spoke with him for a prolonged period, he felt a strong urge to run away.
He traced this impulse to early years when his mother would talk at him for hours at a time. Nothing she said was positive.
You May Not Play
His smothering parents forbade him to leave the house to play with other kids his age, and he suffered from social shyness..
He thought this was strange because he used to be a good actor and had no problem taking on a role whether on stage or a movie set.
He was also having problems maintaining a relationship. Panic and anxiety left him feeling he never was good enough for the woman he was dating. He was certain she would only stay a short time because she would spot his insecurity.
First, we set about tackling the panic and anxiety, resolving it after a few sessions.
His relationship issues also proved easy to correct.
This Won’t Take Long
It became clear to me he had no idea of the basics of relationship behaviors, as seen from a hypnotherapeutic perspective. He appeared to be a physical sexual.
While he seemed outgoing, liked team sports, loved the physicality of sex, and always felt loved during the act of lovemaking, he felt rejected when his partner would want to do other things after the sex act and not want to cuddle. In all respects looked like a physical.
Having seen these kinds of individuals before, I quickly came to see that in fact he was not a physical sexual, but, an emotional sexual with a physical defense, and this is why his relationships were failing. Not only was his self-esteem low, (which we also worked on in hypnosis, with great success) but also he was attracting the wrong kind of person as a result of appearing to be a physical sexual.
An immutable law of nature is that opposites attract. For a good relationship, it means that he would want to understand his behaviors and those of the kind of person he needed to attract to have a successful relationship. He always appeared outgoing and would be drawn to people quieter than he. Soon the relationships would end because he, too, was a quiet person.
With my guidance he came to understand the differences in behaviors between the physical sexual and the emotional sexual, learning that the kind of person he wanted to attract was the more outgoing type person to complement his true quietness.
He never would attract a physical as long as he continued to display his physical sexuality. Two physicals will not get along. There always will be4 a battle for dominance.
You can understand how two outgoing people who like to be the center of attention will clash. By contrast, two emotional sexuals in a room, both probably would stay in the room and not do anything. It is their nature to follow the line of least resistance.
My client realized that to have a successful relationship he would need to tone down his faked outgoing personality and to reveal more of his “hidden” quiet side.
That way he would attract more outgoing women. He could relax into his quieter self.
His self-esteem had grown so that he now allowed his dominant emotional personality to show from the start.
His present relationship has already lasted a lot longer than any other he has had. He is free to be himself. Self-esteem and panic and anxiety issues have disappeared.
If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me by telephone, 310.204.3321 or by email at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net. See my website at www.hypnotherapy4you.net
