Home OP-ED Governor Did Not Need a Gun to Pull Off This Snazzy Holdup

Governor Did Not Need a Gun to Pull Off This Snazzy Holdup

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Watching Gov. Flat Tire bamboozle ignorant Californians with his mousetrap tax-increase initiative is like watching your 5-year-old fall off his trike for the first time.

You cringe.

Each act is a necessary but regrettable ritual.

As surely as Dave LaRose of the South Kitsap School District in Washington state is going to be Culver City’s next Super star, those of us who walk the streets are going to be trampled in autumn by hordes of slow-thinking, robotic, fooled-again school people.

Armed with cheerleader smiles and rote arguments, they will implore us to vigorously support Flat Tire’s crooked scheme because Flat Tire said that otherwise, fiscal disaster will befall California’s finest public schools.

Lawdy, Lawdy, do these ignorant people believe. They brought their hands together and dive-bombed into the cross-stitching goo where not a word is true.

Gentlemen from Another Planet

This crock of lies is slightly larger than the circumference of Mars.

Flat Tire actually is saying, desperately, pass this egregious hike so that the selfish, financially overstuffed Democrat oafs (oaves?) in the Legislature can continue to drunkenly spend our confiscated taxes on their pet pork projects.

Next time you accidentally encounter them, ask state Sen. Curren Price and Assemblyperson Holly Mitchell for an accounting.

Demand specificity.

If you get it, look for the hands on your watch to gallop backward.

Both are lovely people, but they are living off you and me, essentially playing poker all day, consuming soda and crackers while you and I toil to keep them from being unemployed.

After 40 years at the public trough, except for President Obama, there is not a phony politician in America who can out-lie Gov. Flat Tire.

If, as suspected, only political nerds attend to politics at this time of year, join me in supping from the cup of Flat Tire’s latest eye-roller:

Thick with Thieves

As you may know, during the spring, Flat Tire slimily co-opted a gullible rival to join him in his balmy tax hike scheme. That left only two opposing factions reaching into your pockets for what is rightfully yours, not theirs, Flat Tire and enormously well-heeled activist lawyer Molly Munger.

As a candidate for being the most dishonest politician in the state, Flat Tire pulled a stunt that would make murder suspects blush.

Here is how it worked:

With 12 measures qualified for the November ballot, Flat Tire needed to wiggle his crock to the top before eye-weary voters frustratedly said no to all of them.

Traditionally, ballot placement for propositions has been determined by which group turned in its list of names first to the secretary of state.

Ms. Munger and Flat Tire both contend they were first this year.

Can you guess who flipped whom?

Flat Tire holds the advantage of having the shifty-eyed Democrat-controlled Legislature in his pocket. Ms. Munger should have known she would be skinned by the skunk.

The Democrats last week passed an evidently fake “budget” measure, A.B. 1499, which requires that “bond measures and constitutional amendments appear on the ballot before all other” initiatives.

We are told that the $11 billion water bond, ostensibly the impetus for the budget tomfoolery, shortly will be kicked off the ballot by our slippery legislators because it has no chance of passing.

Therefore, Flat Tire’s scam, a constitutional amendment, would take over first place on the ballot.

Ms. Munger’s initiative, by the darnedest coincidence, is not a constitutional amendment.

Therefore she is reduced to pressing her perky little nose against the pre-frosted window.

I will be darned.

Sorry, Sis, you lose. Flat Tire has the legislators with him.

Even though you have more money and have told fewer lies than the President of the United States, that is your goose, not Flat Tire’s, that is making steam come out of the stove.