Goodbye, Mom, Our ‘Queen for a Day’

There was a radio and television show that ran from 1945 to 1957 called “Queen for A Day”.

The show was h­osted by Jack Bailey.

The premise of the show was that contestants had to tell why they wanted the honor of being “queen for a day.”

There was, of course, a real tear-jerker factor as each for the four contestants had to tell her story looking straight into the camera.

The more difficult her circumstances appeared, the more likely it was that she would win.

The applause was recorded on a meter. The audience, clapping hard and long, for their favorite would choose the winner. A beautiful robe was placed on the winner. She was showered with gifts of household appliances and a night out on the town.

I remember that Jim, Joe and I asked Mom why she didn’t try to go on the show.

We thought it would be really cool if she got new appliances and a night off.

She always told us that she wasn’t nearly as bad off as the women on the show.

Now looking over the last 60 years of Mom’s life, you cannot help but see the courage, the strength and the determination that she had.

She told all of us that she attended six schools in six different cities, lived with various aunts and uncles, cared for her only sister Pat who was nine years younger than she, and still managed to do very well in high school and get her diploma.

Sometime about age 16, she became a convert to Catholicism.

Imagine for a minute:

It’s 1946/47.

Mom as a divorcee with two kids, was moving to L.A., and having to live with her mother.

She wanted to make a new life for herself and her two children, Dick and Debbie. She found work in the Farmers Insurance Agency in Pasadena. Through her work, she had the occasion to speak nearly every day to a very nice man named Al Wahlrab.

He was a District Manager with Farmers Insurance.

The First Attraction

She always claimed that she fell in love with his voice first.

So now, not only does she make the big move to L.A., but she meets a bachelor, the oldest, very spoiled son of two very German, very devout Catholics.

Not only was she a divorced woman, but she also had two kids. If you knew our grandparents, you can just picture in your mind the horror on their faces when Dad announced his intention to marry Mom!

Just like the earlier obstacles in her life, Mom overcame; Mom did win Grandpa and Grandma over. It wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t always perfect.

So, Al and Norma married in 1948.

Their Family Record

They had eight children, starting with twins in 1949, Jim and I, Joe in 1951, Mugsy in 1953, Dodie in 1954, Teresa in 1956, Paula in 1958 and Mary in 1961.

There are only a few people here today who can relate to how much work 7 to 10 loads of laundry, seven days a week are, except for our two aunts, Florence and Erleen.

Bear in mind, there was no gas or electric dryer.

All the clothes had to be hung on the clothesline, hopefully drying before the fog came in, or the dog hadn’t pulled the line down into the dirt.

Once the clothes finally dried, they had to be folded, ironed (no permanent press here!) and put away.

Don’t Forget Meal-time

Somewhere in the midst of that, breakfast, lunch and dinner had to be prepared, Oh, and don’t forget school lunches.

Mom got up and made them for all of us until we were in second grade.

It wasn’t until 1959 that Mom got her driver’s license. For up to that time, the shopping was done on Dad’s schedule. They didn’t have a second car until two years later. This took a lot of pressure off of Dad, as now Mom could pick up the kids after school and get the shopping done when we were in school.

She only had to take three or four kids with her!

In 1961, Dad got a very virulent form of influenza that kept him in bed for many weeks.

Mom nursed him back to health.

Mom’s Fall

I never heard a complaint from her, and she didn’t lay a trip on us to help her out more, either. This period had to be extremely difficult for both of them, as Dad was the sole support of the family.

In 1962, Mom had the great luck to go out the back door to shut the dog up and fell, shattering her ankle and dislocating her heel.

She would be in the hospital for weeks and confined to a wheelchair for the more than a year.

She would endure six surgeries, spend more months on crutches, and suffer with that foot for the rest of her life.

She was a trooper.

I don’t know how she got through all of that, but she did it with grace. Can we all just imagine how difficult that time was for her? She was determined to overcome that obstacle.

A Runaway

Do any of you remember the week that Mom ran away from home? Picture this, four teenagers, three elementary school kids and a pre-schooler, menopause and a dire need to get away from your life.

Well, she did it all right. Bad ankle and all, she ran away, “walking” five miles to Dick’s house.

She stayed away for a couple of nights, giving Dad time to straighten us up (poor Dad) before coming home again.

She was determined to keep the family together, and it meant, of course, that she would have to come back and shoulder the same burdens that made her leave in the first place.

That was very courageous of her.

Going Our Way

It wasn’t too long after that that Jim joined the Army (no, not as a result of her running away), and Joe and I started jobs and college.

Mugsy, Dodie and TD were in high school.

Paula and Mary got a lot more attention as Mom had fewer household chores to perform each day. No car ever left our driveway without one of the little ones in it.

In the midst of raising these eight kids, Mom had other volunteer jobs that she loved. In the early ‘60s, public schools were allowed to release the Catholic students from school so that they could attend religious education classes.

Mom hosted those classes at our house once a week just after school let out, but before we got home from St. Mark’s and St. Monica’s.

Eventually, she was the person in charge of registration for the CCD program and managed over 1000 students each year in the program.

This involved a lot of coordination as families had to provide baptism certificates and confirmation certificates for each student in a sacramental preparation year. She loved it.

Then there were the infamous Lilies.

A group of friends that Mom met through her CCD work decided that they would make the baptismal garments for the parish. Some would cut, some sew and some embroider. They were wonderful garments and made with lots of love. I believe that one year, they made nearly 200 of these little white garments.

Every Week

These Lilies met each week, usually on Thursdays, and took turns meeting in one another’s homes.

They did their mending, gossiping and sharing. They built a very special kind of love and devotion for each other.

They prayed together, and celebrated “Home” masses.

Each of the Lilies shared the Wahlrabs’ special occasions by watching wedding dresses being made, and baby outfits being gathered.

After Mom broke her ankle, she couldn’t do much that required her to be on her feet, so she took cake-decorating classes and eventually she made most of our wedding cakes.

The Lilies cheered her on. I don’t think that any of us girls ever begrudged a few minutes with all of the Lilies. These were and are very special women. They were a very important part of Mom’s life. They were her sisters.

The ‘70s saw most of us marry and head out on our own. The house definitely got quieter. Dad, putting up the “NoVacancy” sign, kept most of us out. But this wasn’t before many family guests had stayed with us starting with our Uncle George in the ‘60s. Several cousins also took turns staying. The hospitality door was always open for anyone who needed a place to stay.

Mom loved all of her sons-in-law.

She never hesitated to tell each of them that they were the favorite. Somehow, she also knew that she could get just about anything that she needed to have fixed taken care of by those beloved sons-in-law.

Of course, Mom was particularly fond of her sons-in-law because they had to live with her daughters. Let me dispel the myth now that we girls inherited our strong will from Dad.

It’s been said that one morning many, many years ago, a visitor commented that we kids shouldn’t wake up Dad for fear he would be mad. The boys promptly set the visitor straight saying, It’s not Dad we’re afraid of, it’s Mom!

Jerry and I were very blessed to spend a lot of time with Mom and Dad.

We had an awful lot of fun. We went on a couple of trips to Canada on the pretext of attending Insurance Conventions.

Now one thing that Mom and I Never disagreed on was what our idea of camping was – A suite at the Beverly Hilton.

But we all decided to go in our camper to Vancouver, British Columbia. We got off to a rocky start when, our first night out, we were only in Gorman (about 50 miles from here).

To make a long story short, we spent five days getting out of California and made it only to Vancouver, Washington. All of you have heard Mom’s famous statement, “I’m so full, I can’t eat another bite.” This trip was the origin of that quote.

Dad’s bypass surgeries and aneurysm really shook her to the core. He was her rock, and his health wasn’t getting any better.

This was one of the few times that Mom really had to fight to overcome her fear.

Still she worked tirelessly to help him recover. The only time she could be heard to complain was when she felt that we girls were doting too much on Dad, and, well, she needed a little extra attention, too.

Then came Mom’s turn with calamity. She broke her hip and had a horrible recovery.

She started having TIA’s and her inability to get around took a huge toll on her mentally as well as physically.

When Dad died four years ago, Mom could just not recover from his loss. She missed him, and she missed his support. Her anchor was gone. The love of her life was gone.

And now Mom, you get to be with Dad again.

I can see the twinkle in his eye as he sees you enter the pearly gates. You will see each other again, and you will be complete.

Would everyone please stand for a moment? I want everyone to clap as hard as they can.

Make a joyful noise…. Because today Mom, you are the “Queen for a Day.”