From Perfection to Expression

[img]541|left|Carter Dewberry||no_popup[/img]I thought scheduling my concert — this  Saturday night — to fall just after my birthday and dumping half a year’s worth of savings into the production would make it an inevitable success. 

To be sure, for three months I spent nearly all my waking hours practicing melodic and technical virtuosity, creating flawless transitions between pieces, and working to fill the 700-seat theater.

Then, a week ago, I began staving off panic attacks. For entire days, I would be left nearly unable to breathe, focus or play. I had hit the wall. Like in the first marathon I ran when I collapsed at Mile 20 with an asthma attack, I had peaked too soon.

Or so I thought.

Living in and for the Moment

Then I picked up a book called The Power of Now by Eckart Tolle – and the landscape changed.

I learned I had burnt out concentrating on the future. I needed to stop living outside the present moment.  Goals are fine. But I had lost sight of the creative process in focusing solely on this performance.

So I bought and potted three plants.

I intensified my exercise routine and took more naps.

I accepted whatever audience chose to join me.

I improvised more in my practice. And I changed the concert program to begin with my music.

Today I am nearly at the finish line, and I feel strong. 

I know that this show will be a success – perhaps not through perfect orchestration or execution, but through my expression.

And in my art, this is what matters.

Ms. Dewberry, an accomplished cellist, completed her DMA in Chamber Music Performance from UCLA in December 2005. She received her MM in Cello Performance from UCLA in June 2002 and her B.M. in Cello Performance from Western Michigan University in April 1998. She also holds a B.A. in French with a minor in Women's Studies and Philosophy.

She may be contacted at carter@carterdewberry.com