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Facebook: Friend or Foe?

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[img]958|left|Alex Campbell||no_popup[/img]Dateline Boston — Dang Facebook. Right now I have a love/hate relationship with it. It will always have a special place in my heart; that’s how I met my S.O., the man of my dreams. I love it because I’ve reconnected with friends from all over the world, from all stages of my life. The farthest I’ve gone back is infancy. Yes, I found someone on Facebook who was my playmate as a baby! We grew up together. We were like family, and I hadn’t heard from him in thirty years.

Next was my best friend from when I was six. I remember clearly the apartment he lived in. There was a squishy toilet seat in the bathroom that I loved. His home was cozy and comfortable.

I’ve friended former co-workers and friends from high school. I’ve friended family members and complete strangers. It’s great to catch up on where people are since you’ve seen them last. I tell FB newbies that it’s a great way to answer the question, “I wonder whatever happened to so-and-so?” If I ever need advice about something, I post it on FB and instantly get ten responses. People share funny videos and interesting articles. I post my weekly essays for all my Facebook friends to read.

Yes, Facebook is great. Until it’s not. Awhile ago, my estranged brother unfriended me. Yikes. I knew that we weren’t talking, but it was solidified when I wasn’t allowed to see his profile anymore. Unfriending means you don’t want to hear about someone’s life. It hurt for a little while, but I got over it (and then threw out my back, hmm!). I post on FB a lot. Maybe he didn’t want his notification wall clogged up with my day to day yammerings. He never posted anything, so I’d been in the dark about his life for nearly a year.

Until the other day when my sister-in-law, also a sporadic FB poster, put some photos on her FB wall. Curious, I flipped through them (She and I are still FB friends). I saw old buildings, cobblestone streets, a couple of shots of my brother. It looked like my brother and sister-in-law went to Europe, maybe Italy?

It hit me like a ton of Italian bricks. My brother went out of the country and I didn’t know about it. It felt weird. It’s a big deal for my brother and for me to go out of the country. We never traveled anywhere as children — it’s not like our parents were jetsetters or anything. The fact that I found out about this in such a roundabout way made me feel weird and distant. What should I do? Should I unfriend my sister-in-law? Should I hide her profile? Should I just assume that every once in awhile I’m going to see things I don’t expect on Facebook and just roll with it?

Facebook has brought me closer to a lot of people, but a world away from the only remaining member of my immediate family. I don’t “like” this, but I’ll deal with it. And maybe take up yoga.

Ms. Campbell may be contacted at her new address, snobbyblog@gmail.com