A client came to see me with an intriguing problem.
Married, his wife was living in the house and he was in a small guesthouse in the back. He would see his wife and son every morning and evening. She, however, wants a divorce.
Confused and concerned, he is emotionally attached to his wife of 13 years. He wants to see his son regularly, too.
Each day is different. Some days she wants to be divorced, others she does not. Some days she kisses and hugs, some days not.
It turns out he is a physical sexual and his wife is an emotional sexual.
An immutable law of nature holds that opposites attract. Same for relationships. Whatever behaviors you put out, they will attract someone who has the opposite behaviors. Even though opposites attract, it is those same opposites cause rifts within relationships.
My client’s emotionally sexual wife constantly is playing her husband. She plainly does not love him. Still she leads him to believe she still loves him. She makes dinners, has him come for a meal, gives him hugs every day but still says she wants a divorce.
He sits on a fence. She operates an emotional roller coaster. Yes, I want to be with you. No, I don’t. He realizes the must let her go if he is going to be better.
An emotional sexual (his wife) tends to concentrate on work first, individual activities second, family third. He reverses the order, family, people, work. He wants to maintain the family more than she does.
“Relationship Strategies, The E&P Attraction,” by John Kappas, Ph.D, explains in great detail the traits of a physically sexual and emotionally sexual male and female in a relationship.
Balance Is the Objective
In a good union, the emotional and physical percentages are about the same for favorable balance and understanding. Physicals together create issues. Both seek to be the attention center. They compete for friends’ notice. Arguments occur because each believes the other is stealing his or her social thunder.
Emotional and emotional does not work either. They both have a tendency to take the line of least resistance. Unless one comes up with an idea of something to do, they sit around and do nothing. Each waits for the other to decide what to do.
When an emotional and physical are in a relationship, this is a desirable balance. The physical motivates the emotional. The difficulty is that the emotional likes to work, and the physical likes to have his/her spouse home. In a healthy relationship each understands the other’s needs. a
In my client’s case, he realized his wife was stringing him along. He had been content with that to because he did not want to break up.
Now he has decided to pursue divorce. Unless he took action, the relationship was going to stay the same.
Since the divorce, he has been happier. He visits his son every day as his wife moved into a property close to their old home.
He is free to date and find the relationship he wants for a happy life.
No longer does he show indecision and weakness.
Do not hesitate to contact me by telephone, 310.204.3321, or by email at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net. See my website at www.hypnotherapy4you.net
