Home OP-ED Emotionally Sexual Males Are Different from You and Me

Emotionally Sexual Males Are Different from You and Me

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[img]560|left|Nicholas D. Pollak||no_popup[/img]A client with lower back pain recently was referred to me by a back surgeon. After undergoing three surgeries on his lower back, he still was experiencing pain.

Frustrated because he is an active person, he wanted to get back to his old physical condition.

All he wanted was to jog and play the sport he no longer could play. He lost faith in his doctor because no matter what the surgeon did, his back pain persisted. Besides two different painkillers, he was taking more medication with less pain relief.

In a book called “Catastrophic Living,” two test groups were separated. One group was given pain meds, the other hypnotic relaxation techniques to ease the pain.

Five years later, the pain meds group still was experiencing the same level of pain. Their pain med dosage had almost doubled, tripled in some cases. The hypnosis group, meanwhile, enjoyed a significant pain level drop. They were not taking pain meds.

It became clear hypnosis and the ability to relax while in hypnosis had solved the pain relied dilemma.

There must have been another reason this client was hanging onto his pain. Shortly, I uncovered the cause and resolved the problem.

His wife had just given birth to their first child, which contributed to his that in turn tightened his body and caused pain to already inflamed areas.

Stress coupled with his sexuality were the cause of his ongoing pain. Being am emotionally sexual male was the root of his problem.

Emotionally sexual males are more logical thinkers. Not great in social situations, they prefer to sit on the periphery at parties. They are more comfortable in one-on-one conversations. They don’t like being the center of attention. They would rather be working or actively involved in individual type activities, not team sports. Their sex drive is less than other people’s. They prefer sex every three days rather than daily.

Unless the sex act first is visualized mentally first, nothing is going to happen anywhere else. When the sex act is complete, he tends to promptly leave the bedroom and do something else which, frustrating his partner who wants to cuddle.

And so the client was suffering from sexual guilt. His wife had been complaining prior to her pregnancy that they were not having sex often enough. Shortly, his back pain started.

He did not realize that even though there was a legitimate reason for his pain at the time of his surgeries — pain is a sign to the brain something is wrong somewhere — he hung onto the pain as an excuse not to have sex as frequently as he wanted.

Once his sexuality and his wife’s was explained to him, once both understood their behaviors, the client realized that neither sexual appetite was right or wrong, good or bad.

The partners did not need to be the same, just understand each other’s sexual needs and find a middle ground that satisfied both.

Look Who Is in Charge

It is important to understand that with pain, the body will tense up and magnify it. When fully relaxed under hypnosis, the client was able to increase or eliminate his pain on request.

This proved to him he had more control over his pain than he wanted to admit. Utilizing hypnotherapy, he now uses the relaxation techniques whenever his back pain flares.

His guilt and pain both began to ease. Before long, his pain vanished. He and his wife are enjoying a healthy, pain-free sexual relationship.

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me by telephone, 310.204.3321 or by email at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net. See my website at www.hypnotherapy4you.net