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Somewhere in America, I am confident there are smart liberals who are genuinely savvy. Meanwhile, we are forced to suffer recovering grandmas who believe in punishing innocent neighbors for their addictions.
I see where Jumbo Janny Perry, the barrel-bellied Los Angeles City Councilperson, finally has succeeded in her legacy-driven crusade that only a fringe politician could embrace. Says she is worried sick about obesity in young people. She gave up long ago on her own bouncing roundness.
Liberals seem to dedicate their lives to saving the world from worthy threats to our serene existence. If it isn’t just-minted global warming or overcooked string beans that have been affected by a cuckoo bird in Cairo, it is a cheerless chubbins on the City Council telling us, between heaving breaths and open-mouthed bites from bulging bacon cheeseburgers, that, gobble, gobble, we need to eat more selectively so we won’t grow up to be fatso’s, too.
Let’s Play a Game — I’m the Dictator
For 6 years, Jumbo Janny has been trying to plant her lugubrious legs on the necks of the minority population in South L.A. so she can dictate their daily diet.
Yesterday, Jumbo convinced every one of her 14 equally balmy liberal colleagues on the City Council to approve what figures to be a 2-year moratorium on opening new fast-food restaurants in Los Angeles neighborhoods where black and brown families form the majority.
Her puerile stunt is a marketing man’s dream — it has plumped into Jumbo’s several laps the kind of regional and national publicity that say a colleague such as Bernie Parks only can fantasize about. Jumbo cradles in her considerable arms an axiom that, you will excuse the term, feeds the egos of fringe politicians — the dumber the gimmick, the wider the publicity.
To outlaw a whole industry for 2 years because, well, Jumbo is a liberal and she does not need a reason. It is not enough for liberal politicians to live in your wallet and test out new gizmos daily for redistributing your wealth. Now they want to live in your tummy, too. Are there no prisons?
I have heard of social justice. I have heard of poetic justice. But juicy jumbo justice? Where is the justice in having Big, Bigger and Really, Really Big Sister drooling over your shoulder when you decide to drive through McDonald’s on the way home?
Jumbo Is Full of Herself, And We Are, Too
This is not only breathtaking arrogance and self-consumption of mammoth proportions, it sounds pretty bigoted. Jumbo, who is black, tells her audiences — time out for a bite — that people of her color and of nearby colors are too attracted to — time out for another bite — fatty foods that will make them fatty, too.
Jumbo reminds me of a football player who caught a pass, but ran up into the stands. His first two instincts were good, catch the ball and run. But he ran in the wrong direction as Ms. Perry drastically has.
I simply do not know whether the lady is well intentioned or a fool. Even for an addict, she is acting outrageous. Let us presume, and it could be a leap, that she is acting honorably.
If she is seriously concerned about britches-bursting blubber-sized boys and girls ballooning into Extra Larges, why doesn’t she do something decent and conventional, like addressing student and parent audiences? Here is why that is a non-starter, pal: Ain’t no publicity in it. Not an ounce. Or in Ms. Perry’s case, a quarter-pounder.
Quiet, Please
If you will pardon me, I am going to dial 1-800-JUMBO to find out whether I should pick up dinner at Carl’s Jr. or McDonald’s.
