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Observing liberals navigating their bumpy way across the political universe is like watching your 2-year-old putting a hand over each eye and thinking, “Aha, now they can’t see me.”
Every afternoon at 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 o’clock, when liberals decide to flash their biases, they light a match to 10 sticks of dynamite. They are as unsubtle as a drugged-out grizzly bear on roller skates at the top of a hill. But since they are in iron control of the media, few voices are left to tattle on them.
The Mayor of Detroit, surely the only Kwame Kilpatrick in America, was whacked over the head this morning with a charge of perjury and a barrel of other accusations, stemming from a disputed relationship with his former chief of staff.
If you are a political aficionado, you may idly wonder to what party the offending gentleman belongs. Never once in the first 19-paragraph Associated Press story was his affiliation disclosed.
When a crooked politician’s party is not identified in a news story, you can make book the practicing criminal is a Democrat, as Mr. Kirkpatrick is.
Liberals, as even some children know, often twist themselves into embarrassing positions to avoid revealing the truth. The Detroit Mayor-turned-buffoon is not merely a pedestrian Democrat. He is a heavyweight. He is a superdelegate to the Democratic Convention. Gee whillickers, liberal buffoons can’t even catch a break on their way to jail cells. They may have to open a satellite branch of the Denver convention in a Detroit prison.
Pardon Me While I Gargle
Ignoring the party affiliation of disgraced members of the Democratic Party is practically policy at the Associated Press.
In a 16-paragraph breaking news story two weeks ago this morning, the Associated Press, the final surviving wire service with a glint of credibility, pulled the same tired old liberal stunt when reporting that Gov. Spitzer of New York had been nailed with a prostitute.
If Eliot Baby had been the Town Clerk of the biggest city in New Hampshire, no one would have cared whether he was a Republican, a Democrat or a Communist. But party affiliation is a crucial segment of his identity when the governor of one of the most important states leaps off the cliff.
But, Papa, You Never Told Me He Was a Dem
In their rush to beat the Culver City News and the Fresno Bee, by golly, gee whillickers, the sloppy Associated Press reporter and his equally slovenly editor, both registered Democrats, must have simply overlooked the fact that Eliot Baby is a Democrat.
No wonder generations of gullible Americans have grown up convinced that Republicans produce far more political crooks than the those sly old Democrats. Criminal Democrats are treated as if they were traveling incognito.
The most memorable line I have read in recent days came out of the mouth of the astute columnist Roger Simon of the Politico website.
Speaking of the likely Democratic nominee for the White House, the banal Barack (I Have a Half-Priced Bridge to Sell You) Obama, Mr. Simon remarked yesterday about the unanimous praise all liberal sycophants showered on Mr. Obama for his “I Have an Evasion” speech last week. In Mr. Simon’s words: “Obama really won over his base. He won over the American media.”
Another Lefty Swears Off Liberal Label
“Liberal” has become such an odious term to liberals even Mr. Obama is fleeing from it. The most liberal Presidential candidate to venture into the sunlight since Georgie (I Have a Country to Give Away) McGovern in 1972, told Robin Toner of The New York Times over the weekend he is not a liberal. (Who said he lacks a sense of humor?) He told Ms. Toner he wants to be seen as a “progressive” and a “pragmatist.” Not even a sensible conservative can blame him. Next he won’t want to be known as a Democrat since it is the monopolistic party in America’s leading jails.
Like the 2-year-old who puts both hands over his eyes to hide from his parent, it is difficult to take many liberals seriously even though they are as sincere as they are unintentionally funny to watch. They are fat ladies inhaling and trying to squeeze into dresses they wore when they were little girls. Okay, smaller girls. Watching liberals flounder is like getting to watch a Dodger game every day of the year.
It Really Can Get Worse
Just when you are positive they have bottomed out with their choke-inducing arrogance or sniffy sense of entitlement, they boldly commit a fresh gaffe. A sensible comedian never runs out of topical material.
Liberals seem incapable of distinguishing between shrug-offs and situations worthy of hysteria. Only obsessive emergencies exist in their parochial little worlds. All liberals now may put one hand over each eye until tomorrow. That way I never will know where they are.
