[img]1|left|Ari Noonan||no_popup[/img]As one of the several — shall we slyly say plain-looking? —tree stump-shaped lesbians with whom Swish, that devilish cad, has surrounded himself, Elena Kagan this afternoon appears to be a superb nominee for the U.S. Supreme Court vacancy.
When it comes time for the U.S. Senate to vote on the considerable Ms. Kagan this summer, we are confident she will don her favorite pair of support hose and earn the unflagging support of three crowds: the obese, lesbians, and markedly unattractive gals of all ages.
Otherwise, it is touch and go, although Ms. Kagan swears she never has touched. She only has gone.
In an informal survey of left wing pundits on the internet, in newspapers and on television, 91 percent are either angry or puzzled by selection of the anti-dainty Ms. Kagan. This translates to: Situation normal, meaning President Bumbler has hit another graceless home run.
Seventy-two million judges line the courtroom benches of America. Yet Swish (I Prefer the Shallow End When I Think and When I Swim) Obama shades his eyes, strokes his tall ears and mumbles, “I choose Fatso over there with one leg over the end of the couch and no experience as a judge.” The chilling erudition of the man regularly overwhelms reflective Americans.
Finding So Many Imperfections
Liberals are confused about how to feel about sexy Elena. Thankfully, that is their only worry since they abandoned thinking shortly after World War II.
Nearly every left winger we have heard from the last three days seems to have the barrel of a rhetorical gun aimed at her Janet Napolitano-shaped head. My candidate for the funniest sight has been lesbians and their tens of millions of liberal sympathizers, wannabees or spouses. In the shrillest, glass-shattering sound they can manage, they scream, “Elena is not a lesbian.”
Suits me. She may not be. But isn’t it a stitch that these so insincere left wingers climb atop a picket fence and howl all night, like a cat with rabies, that by thunder, halleluya, lesbians and gay men are wretchedly mistreated by the majority world? But when it comes time to choose someone for a prominent position, this tilted crowd regards rumors of gayness as a blotch on the nominee’s record. (That must be why they gave up thinking.)
Then there is the race-crazed diversity crowd. By thunder, the beancounters roar, we must have one of every kind (not just you smart people) on staff. They must think this is Noah’s Ark, not a school.
Swish Slows Down to a Crawl
A story in the Washington Post this morning said, “The White House rushed Tuesday to allay concerns raised by some civil-rights groups about Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan and the hiring record of Harvard Law School when she was dean.” Nearly everybody she hired was white, a huge problem because it is against the First Liberal Commandment.
Swish, you may know, is the thinking man’s President. He is so darned smart. With a flashlight in one hand and a cigarette in the other, Mr. Obama climbed into the White House attic just after yesterday’s Glenn Beck Show. On his hands and knees, he crawled along and shortly unearthed a dusty document showing that a Harvard hiring committee, not the Law School dean, had the final word on selecting faculty.
Thank heavens. Multi-colored beancounters everywhere may exhale again.
Speaking of lesbians and irreversibly unattractive women: If the now-three plug-uglies on the Court, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Sonia Sotomayor and the ravishing Elena Kagan were the last three women on the planet, liberals would get their fondest wish and 100 percent of men would instantly declare their gayness. Take that, Harvard Law School.
