Home Editor's Essays The Day That Swish Got His Fondest Wish

The Day That Swish Got His Fondest Wish

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[img]1|left|Ari Noonan||no_popup[/img] I am almost old enough to have lived through the Roosevelt administration — Teddy’s, not FDR’s — and I cannot remember a time when groupings of peoples were so calculatedly and ferociously set off against each other by an American government.

Every country is divided every day of the year, unless you only are counting the cemeteries.

But I suggest that President Obama is trying to foment some kind of breakout action by the peasantry. Lest you think such an observation irremediably irrational, ponder for a moment a half-dozen of his most bizarre pronouncements from his 15-month term. Tell me if you would have imagined or believed any of them before he became President.

Swish has been warming up this center-ring act, pitting the peasants against each other, since well before his inauguration.

While Swish has spent a fat chunk of April egging his base to make war not love against the “greedy bankers” of Goldman Sachs, the current hot incarnation of an Obama devil, it has barely been noted that he received almost a million dollars in campaign donations from Goldman — $996,000.

This week, he ranked Goldman close to the top of his infamous I Hate You list, midway between Republican senators and the state of Arizona.

Bankers in general, but especially Goldman’s, Swish tells us, are more intrinsically deceitful than Jesse James of Old West fame or even the former Mr. Sandra Bullock.

Here Comes the Judge

Despite the fact that his campaign profited from almost a million of Goldman’s filthy dollars, Swish declared he will not return any of it. Tainted money spends just as easily, he reasoned.

What a mountain of morality our Dear Leader has matured into.

He, who admitted to an income of $5.5 million last year, has taken to almost daily horse-whipping bankers for their greed until even the most patient American is ready to scream or throw an egg at his artificially scolding face.

He keeps giving the same speech, with the identical closely scripted gestures, inflections and oh-so-put-upon expressions.

Mr. Obama, who is believed to have been in America for the entirety of this week, said yesterday in a stump speech at Quincy, IL:

“I want to be clear. We’re not trying to push financial reform because we begrudge success that’s fairly earned. I mean, I do think at a certain point you've made enough money.”

In context, that is an astonishing statement that I dare say never before has come from the lips of an American President.

Who is he to make such a threatening, ignorant accusation?

When did Swish morph into Judge Yahoo Obama — empowered by heaven knows who — to limit income of American workers? Or don’t bankers qualify?

Ready, Aim, March

This very afternoon, thousands of “working” class Americans marched on Wall Street, timing their I Am So Darned Miffed at Lousy Rich Bankers demonstration to coincide with the 4 o’clock final bells of the day.

The stage show was a heaping plate of million-calorie dessert for President Swish. He has invested months and precious political capital trying to organize this kind of scrupulously orchestrated explosion against his latest handpicked villains.

Bad guys are useless, even as strawmen, unless they are counterbalanced by good guys.

Some of the genuinely most corrupt professionals in America, labor unions and their despotic leaders, perhaps were most responsible for underpinning Swish’s election campaign. The regrettable SEIU, the Service Employees International Union, and its crooked, toppled former leader, Andy Stern, funneled between $65 million and $85 million into the Obama treasury. Oh, how Swish has rewarded Andy and his fellow thugs ever since.

Prominent on Wall Street this afternoon, in the Good Guys camp, was America’s next neon crook-in-training, Richard Trumka, new president of the AFL-CIO. With the help of his cowcatcher moustache, he resembles someone who should be in the funny pages, until he starts talking.

It is so bizarre and morally upside down to see tainted labor kings, such as Mr. Trumka, prance through gilded bank properties as if he commanded ethical superiority.

The crude Mr. Trumka, with a factory-level mentality, pounds chests for a living. He wrote an insufferably chest-pounding piece for the Huffington Post today (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/richard-trumka/).

I heard white-gowned, halo-shlepping angels crooning in the background as Mr. Trumka dropped to one knee, a la Al Jolson in “The Jazz Singer,” and warbled these weeping words at his predictable Us vs. Them finish:

“Wall Street’s values are based on greed. The American people’s values are rooted in working hard, playing fairly and doing right by our family, neighbors and friends.

“Working people are angry — and we are right to be angry at the betrayal of our economic future. Help us turn that anger into the energy to create jobs, fix our economy and build a stronger nation.”

This, from a crooked labor union clown is truly rich, and it is emblematic of the drastically misplaced priorities of the Obama administration.