[img]1|left|||no_popup[/img]In addition to employing Michael Hiltzik, a confessed truth-twister, as a business columnist, the Los Angeles Times — which honed its personnel selection skills at the feet, and I do mean stinky feet, of Swish Obama — this shakily reputable newspaper also employs the redoubtable Mary, Mary (Quite, Quite Contrary) McNamara, McNamara.
Sit down, dear reader.
Otherwise, you may faint away.
Likely, you will be shocked out of your newly shined shoes when I tell you Mary the Muttering Martyr is one of those rare animals of whom God, in his wisdom, created only 2 or 3 — an angry left-winger who believes Republicans cheated her out of her birthright.
I can’t believe it, either.
To say that Mary the Martyr is mad today is to ask, wastefully, does an Irishman tipple?
Even in an otherwise vacant container, M.T.M. does not bring the sharpest tools to the kit. When she is near, speak slowly, volubly and, where possible, include large semaphore signals as a courtesy to her angry personality.
Mary T. Martyr, like other persons of Irish descent whom I have known and, occasionally, been related to, sternly prefers to keep all of her marginally intelligent political opinions a state-sized secret between her and her readers,
Mary T. Martyr is a television critic. So we probably are not talking about a readership with the wingspan of Burma. Or even Tarzana.
Smart Kids Anyway
Mary T. Martyr — who reportedly buys her 3 children earplugs for their birthdays, at their request — has trouble controlling her mouth.
Frustrated because of the modest station she occupies in her professional life, M.T.M. cannot content herself with saying that a television show was good or bad for certain reasons.
Being a liberal, Mary the Martyr nurses an unquenchable desire to rant. Sources tell us that this annoying disorder stems from several decades ago when she was introduced to left-wing politics and had the darnedest time trying to recall how the smart people spell GOP.
Friends say Mary T.M. majored in snide-ism in college. Adroitly, this allows her to launch wit bombs into the stomachs of unsuspecting, not to mention undeserving, Republicans.
Since even a broken clock is correct twice a day, M.T. M. stumbled onto a decent gripe a couple days ago on her blog. (http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-fire-notebook1-2009sep01,0,157713.story)
Mary complained, perhaps quite fairly, about the weakness of the quantity of television coverage of our wildfires.
Standing alone, that is worthy of debate. Surely a strong challenge can be made on her behalf.
She pointed out that her five-member family was routed from their La Crescenta home. Let’s be clear. Mary, Mary is not a dispassionate purveyor of the news from the sidelines. This was purely personal.
Devoid of discipline or self-control, the fat-mouthed woman with the Irish moniker and a bellyful of unrequited, poor-l’il-girl anger — somebody made my ice cream fall into the gutter — couldn’t stop at a reasonable border with her complaint.
Can’t Control Her Emotions
She couldn’t just say that the wildfires were covered insufficiently until recently by television because Teddy was too busy being worshiped, and nearly every television channel went nuts over playing kissy-mouth to Killer Ted.
Oh, no.
Being a left wing girl, Mary has a tendency to descend steeply into floozie-hood when she can think up a GOP personality to blame her failings on.
And I quote:
“As a television critic, I have spent hours watching endless news loops of Octomom coverage, Tim Russert memorials and the Sarah Palin watch.”
Eh, what?
Is there a single liberal author anywhere in the contiguous 48 who can write a piece of any subject and not invoke the names of Cheney or Palin or Limbaugh or Sanford.
To the lengthening Democrat laundry list of failures that includes a climate change bill, healthcare reform bill, closure of Guantanamo, the Afghan war, we can add Mary McNamara’s boredom.
These Democratic failures shrewdly have been traced to the busy doorstep of Sarah Palin, most recently blamed for the 918 influenza epidemic. Pray for her.
Meanwhile, thank you, libs, for lightening our lives.
