With a deep bow toward my new second most favorite reader in Sunkist Park:
Even in our darkest hour, and my goodness there have been a lot since Jan. 19 (I got depressed the day before), President Laughing J. Stock, who tapes on his junior commando Rabbit Ears every morning after Mad Michelle shoves him out of their straw bed, reliably provides us with a giggle or two almost daily.
Has there ever been a less serious President?
Jew-hating Jimmah Carter was 4-year joke. But even the Georgia peanut farmer, who couldn’t find the Old City in Jerusalem with both hands, treated his election soberly. He did not try to swallow the whole darned White House travel budget for one term before the first Halloween.
Friends have been bragging that Swish Obama should be lauded for donating his brain to science. They didn’t tell us that the deal was to make the gift the day before his inauguration.
Now you know why Presidenting has seemed like a foreign language to him.
One of the Obama children was overheard this morning asking, “Daddy, can we have dinner in Zurich?”
Mad Michelle, she of the permanent facial scold, looked at the poor child and snapped, “Shut up. There’s a Republican over there who reads lips.”
The fatigued illegal immigrants who dominate the grunt staff at The Obama Travel Agency have shlepped more overtime the last 9 months than the Santa Monica Police Dept. under ex-Chief James Butts. I was going to say the Inglewood P.D. Last I looked, though, they were too busy killing regular citizens and then dialing d-e-n-i-a-l on their iPods.
Them There Ears
It still is not clear whether President Swish kvetches so much about media coverage because he is childishly hypersensitive or because Mad M. gave him cheap Scotch (wouldn’t you know it?) tape that stings when he dons his cardboard Rabbi Ears every morning.
Is it any wonder the chair of the Nobel Peace Prize committee embarrassedly promised me this morning, “I’ll get back to you, Old Chap,” when I asked for the three main reasons Swish became the first person with such a name to receive the Nobel in any category.
Watching Swish wiggle every day in discomfort over alleged unfair coverage of his screwball administration is like seeing your ex-wife whiz along at 85 mph in her new convertible.
Laughing over her shoulder at imagined well-wishers, she looks frontward just before tipping over a steep cliff. Is it poor form to cheer? Softly?
Swish’s latest puerile gaffe would have gotten him spanked in grammar school if he had tried such a stunt there.
He Must Have One Talent
On Sunday, showing again he is better at giving orders than giving answers, Swissssh sent White House Communications Director Anita (Well) Dunn over to CNN studios to complain, nationally, about the Fox News Channel’s coverage of his administration.
High school boys do this. Grown men do not.
After that gag backfired, Swisssh now has less chance of being taken seriously than John (I Was Named for a Room) Edwards when he says, “I did not father the baby that I fathered.”
Fortunately, I was in synagogue Sunday morning when Well Dunn knocked on the door at CNN and asked to be on its weekly interview show.
Here is what Well Dunn, a founding member of Whores for Obama, told a national audience:
“What I think is fair to say about Fox — and certainly it's the way we view it — is that it really is more a wing of the Republican Party.
“They take their talking points, put them on the air; take their opposition research, put them on the air. And that's fine. But let's not pretend they're a news network the way CNN is.”
If Well, as friends call her, had been a Republican, she would have been laughed all the way to the street. But scholarship is not a test for Dems.
Of all television networks, over the air and cable, Fox is the only network that covers the Obama administration objectively on the news, and both favorably and critically during commentary portions.
CNN, MSNBC, PBS, NBC, CBS, ABC all are board members of Whores for Obama, and have not been known to report objectively on him and his Chicago mugs since he declared his candidacy.
There are two reasons: They are worried fellow liberals will cast them as racists if they criticize our Dear Leader. The other 50 percent of their rationale is they agree with his philosophy. This is the divide and conquer world that the left wing has delighted in creating. It also helps explain why they lose two-thirds of Presidential elections.
If Well Dunn had given her shpiel on “Saturday Night Live,” it would have been good for yucks from conservatives and liberals.
By making a fool of herself, she will spend her remaining time at the White House in the repair shop, trying to mend her severely damaged reputation. Good luck, Well.
