[img]1|left|Ari Noonan||no_popup[/img]Outside of married life, for sheer delicious people pastry, few pleasures in life surpass watching a stuttering soldier from the Angry Left having a pie thrown into his face by the normal person he is interviewing.
Gloria (Boys, Have You Noticed Mah Legs?) Borger, CNN’s aging sex symbol, was the unprepared pie-catcher last night at the Republican National Convention.
She staged such a show of traditional liberal envy of conservative serenity that was so classic, it should be gold-framed and hung in the Smithsonian before the lunch crowd arrives today.
As if she were the Wolf in the Democrat version of Little Red Riding Hood, Little Red Gloria was licking her wrinkled chops as she fine-tuned her fumbled ambush.
The Stars Were Glowing
The background story was that at the podium before cheering fans in Tampa, Ann Romney, Mia Love, Chris Christie and Artur Davis had brilliantly scaled the oratorical pinnacles of their accomplished lives.
Being Republicans, they work for a living, scorning the mantle of victimhood, the mandatory centerpiece of the Abnormal Party.
Dear reader, for pure combustible elegance, Mr. Davis’s rhetorical takedown of Ms. (Whoosh! Where Did He Go?) Borger was a sterling sample of deconstructive artistry.
Easily the most delightful moment of a generously spread television feast, the left-wing lions of CNN, Ms. Borger and roly-poly Roland (Overeaters Anonymous Is Unfair to Minorities) Martin, fangs bared, were lying low preparatory to eating their prey. Only their prey starved them.
In fairness to the interviewers, Ms. Borger is shallow and Mr. Martin says learning is unfair to minorities.
They were planning to grill, baste and humiliate Mr. Davis, a Democrat-turned-Republican – horrors, said CNN – a four-term former Alabama congressman who is starting a new, cleaner life as a normal GOP Senate candidate in Virginia.
Like sneak thieves closing in on the jewels of a woman who worked for a living, therefore not a fellow Democrat, the four Borger and Martin eyes shifted horizontally and vertically in anticipation of slicing Mr. Davis into bite-sized pieces.
What made Mr. Davis the prime desirable target for CNN at the convention was not only that he had converted to the Normal Party, but he was black, the worst of all traitorous crimes for toadies on the Abnormal Party. He also told CNN there will be a significant 9 percent switch of black voters in 2008 away from Mr. Obama in November because of his numerous policy and governing failures.
Ms. Borger, rattled almost blind with steamy fumes, constantly scootching around in her seat, was no match for the calm, self-assured Mr. Davis, who was supremely serene.
How could you become an ugly Republican? she wanted to ask.
The transcript, and notice how she stumbles:
Ms. Borger: You are here tonight because you are talking to the swing voters. I mean, you’re talking…
Mr. Davis: I tried to make the case.
Ms. Borger: You’re, you’re, you’re, you’re… So how do you make the case… I mean why, why do that? Why have such an incredible hundred-and-eighty degrees swing?
Mr. Davis: Gloria, I will be honest with you. The easy thing for me, frankly, would have been to do what you guys are doing and be a pundit.
[At that, the angry Ms. Borger’s envious skin almost came off her bones while nearby, commentator David Gergen smiled wanly.]
Mr. Davis: The easy thing for me to do, frankly, would have been a plague on both your houses. Here is what I mean when I say that. It’s very easy in Washington, D.C., to do the ‘plague on both your houses’ game. Oh, if both sides would only work together in a bipartisan way. For a period of time, perhaps I seemed to do that. But I came to the conclusion that on all the issues we are debating as a country right now, my views line up with the people who are down here (pointing toward the emptying arena).
