In a surreal world where the featherweight king of Chicago can become President, it is fitting that the Romper Room of politics, the United Nations, should be taken with grave seriosity by all liberals who walk among us.
And so it was this afternoon that the U.N. General Assembly, a lovely body of flower-sniffing dream weavers, ordained that Israel, the bad guy, and the Gaza Strip, wearing the white trunks, have been awarded five additional months to internally study their own roles in the December ‘08 war that is becoming more famous than Mr. Obama’s invisible intellect.
It seems that even though they have enlisted the patronization of secular Jews from around the world to investigate Israel, to enhance the appearance of validity, the beautifully harmonious choir of naïve political virgins has — so far — failed to bring sufficient damning evidence against Israel.
Can’t We Think of Anything Worse?
That is what this afternoon’s time-out was about. To give them more time to design hanging-worthy charges.
The 98 to 7 General Assembly vote on a resolution written by playful peace- and fun-loving Palestinians, quickly was nicknamed Climate Change, given their similar groundings in ambiguities.
Like all committees dating back to the second week of the Garden of Eden, the General Assembly’s sole mission is fool’s errands. Being comprised entirely of left-wingers, the General Assembly thus is assured of never running low on balmy ideas.
The General Assembly, largely populated by luddites and other-colored anti-Semites, principally exists to periodically whack Israel in the forehead with a baseball bat. Something like 96 percent of its resolutions have been rebukes of the Jewish state.
Obviously, this Assembly of the scrupulously fair-minded is dedicated to creating a world where moderation, in huge heaps, is to be appreciated. Or else.
To briefly recapitulate, you may recall that from 2000 until early December of ’08, Israel was relentlessly peppered with rockets from the culturally poisoned Gaza Strip. At the end of December, Israel began to swing back for the first time.
Whoa, man, cried Israel haters. That is not fair.
The always empowered, and respected, intermarried chorus of European, Arab and Muslim anti-Semites, unaccustomed to having attacks answered, cried loudly that Israel’s response to eight years of daily assaults was disproportionate.
Play it again, Sam.
“Disproportionate” is a favorite locutional plaything of liberals. They don’t know exactly what they mean. But, hey, ignorance never has been an impediment to their daily kvetching.
Hang ‘em First, Try ‘em Later
This is not the forum today for examining the trumped-up accusations that have been enthusiastically pursued worldwide by scholarly journalists. They have, however, issued a unanimous preliminary ruling that Israel is to be condemned and Gazans lavishly lauded for courageously defending their smelly little island prison.
For 62 years, various bands of Arab and Muslim thugs have kept 1.2 million of their hopelessly passive brethren enslaved to show the world how cruel Israel is.
Four months ago, the bastion of benevolence that is the General Assembly embraced findings by the Goldstone Commission.
This despicable document is a lopsided war report “researched” by a self-hating South African Jew, Richard Goldstone, and his band of merry mischief-makers.
To be succinct, the Goldstoners, as they are known in show business lingo, came to the U.N., bowed their heads, looked into their pure hearts, and concluded with enviable vigor the following:
During the three-week war, Israel behaved like a bloodlust-loving bully. The darned meanies shot bomb-throwing Muslim terrorists as they cowered behind the skirts of women, the tiny bodies of children, and inside schools operated by the United Nations.
Darn their aim.
You may know that an intellectual turtle named Ban-ki Sun is Secretary-General of the U.N., the Culver City equivalent of City Manager.
The deeply religious rascals of the General Assembly summoned Sun last November and told him to keep a close watch on those darned Israelis and the pitiable put-upon Gazans to make sure each government continued to vet its role in the war that obviously was unfair because Israel won.
Three months later, the General Assembly whistled, the same way you would for rover, and Sun — also known as Here, Boy — came padding across the stone-cold floor.
The learned lords of the Assembly said they had only one question for him:
“So, nu? Are the Israelis and our dearly beloved Muslim kin in Home Sweet Gaza investing their war roles.”
Sun, who is believed to have been Henry Waxman in a previous carnation, replied candidly, “I dunno.”
Hence, today’s vote to grant an extension.
When Mr. Obama was interviewed for his response this afternoon, he told a newspaper, “Cool.”
