Gallantly galloping through the rainy rivulets of Big Town, those courageous junior journalists down at the prescient Los Angeles Times, Pravda by the Pacific, issued another lightning bolt of junior-sized news this morning:
Despite intolerable dithering by Squishy Swishy, President Where Are We, the newspaper acknowledged that even though the rapidly melting evidence is a little shaky and the gallery of astute skeptics is expanding exponentially, global warming, by golly, boys, is going to turn all of us into marshmallows if we don’t immediately alter our devilishly evil ways.
Except for the Times’s lengthy, lousy history of failing to cough up evidence a dumb 6-year-old would swallow, how can we doubt these courageous truthseekers?
Isn’t it the classic definition of insanity to keep reproducing the same legally rejected, gruel-thin evidence while expecting the foppish fools across Americaland to say, yeah, Team Obama, hit me again you’re your shtick?
The wheeze of a message never varies by one syllable. The junior journalists warn us that fatal global warming is unavoidable unless we bow down and hand over our wallets.
Why do I keep dragging this dead horse out of its tear-soaked grave? Because the junior journalists at Pravda by the Pacific tell me, I have got to believe or else.
How many times can Times’ boys and their fellow partisans, all registered Whores for Obama, summon the artificial steam to warn the cynical populace about global warming being just several centuries away without bringing a squirt of scientific support?
(Two eggs over easy, Myrtle. But hold the greasy greenhouse gas emissions.)
Still, sounding a clarion call for the 29th time in the past year — coincidentally the same number of times President Where Are We? has defended healthcare reform — the Times said in its lead editorial:
Climate change “can still be slowed at a moderate economic cost, but time is short. Delays make both fighting climate change and adapting to it dramatically more expensive.”
Watch this.
True scientists who are not on a liberal politician’s payroll say that you can take the same starvation-level evidence the left is showcasing and prove the reverse — that, in the same time period, global cooling will convert all of us into male and female ice cubes.
Hey, Girlfriend, Are You a Loser, Too?
Liberals trumpeting the trumped-up “perils” of climate change is like state Sen. Curren D. Price (D-Where?) trotting out one of the obese middle-aged female state employees in his road show, and hearing her brag, “I lost a half-pound last year.”
The evidence, shall we say, is invisible.
Have you noticed that ever since significant evidence-gathering fraud was uncovered last November at a leading climate-change university research center in Great Britain, nearly each week has brought new indictments of gross fudging or just making up facts?
Libs like talking about gossamer stuff you can’t see or feel or taste. That way they have leeway to exaggerate for the doubting Rubes.
Stamping their feet, they insist that, despite shrinking evidence that actually is documented, global warming is going to kill all of us.
How do we know we skeptics are right, and the left will have to apologize again?
Since 1945, American non-liberals have known the United Nations is incapable of conquering tasks more complicated than feeding itself, we knew we had a winner when left-wingers bragged that the U.N. would make the primary case for man-caused climate change.
The left’s seemingly inherent phoniness on this issue was smacked twice in the kisser this week.
Prof. Michael Mann of Penn State, one of the showcase boys for the climate change circus, was suspended by the school, pending investigation of, ahem, fraud charges in global warming research.
And then there is the U.N. cerebral juggernaut. The Jew-despising Arabs and Europeans on the U.N. commission charged with smoking out — or smoking? — global warming evidence slightly miscalculated when they concluded Himalayan glaciers would melt would vanish within 25 years.
Whew. They won’t because the mental giants of the U.N. just missed gauging how much of the Netherlands is below sea level — by 29 percent.
Since, as we know, good events come in threes, President Where Are We told a fundraiser for the deaf and dense last night that he has, off the record, given up on getting a healthcare reform bill passed in this term.
How lucky can the good guys get?
Now, Rahmy, my friend, who is retarded?
