[img]1|left|Ari Noonan||no_popup[/img]For the sensible, hardly any scene could be more gratifying this afternoon than seeing the Most Dishonest Democrat During the Healthcare Debate, U.S. Rep. Bart (So I Told a Lie) Stupak, standing in Congress with a runny bowl of cereal turned upside down on his head.
Faces aglow, we may deliciously proclaim Bart Baby as the first left-wing casualty in Congress of President Obama’s horribly misguided legislation.
Bart Baby said he was unalterably against abortion, which is caveman-rare for a left-winger.
He insisted to the scores of journalists who separately interviewed him — as if he were a two-headed man — that a half-dozen likeminded Democrats were with him, and together they could/would defeat the bill. He pledged they would stand stoutly with pro-life Republicans, and against fellow Dems, and vote against the healthcare bill on the grounds it allowed federal funding of abortion.
Bunny Ears Obama got the news when he was traveling in Pakistan, Arkansas, Ireland, Hungary, Kansas, Chechnya, Indiana, India, Iran, Texas, Syria, New Mexico, North Carolina, Morocco, Florida, Kenya, Canada, Newfoundland, Jordan, Los Angeles, Switzerland, Tennessee, Poland, Colorado and Israel the first two days in March.
Bunny Ears bombarded Bart Baby with so many cellphone calls Bart Baby’s aging wife feared they had a couple of girls stashed out of view.
Throughout the final week of the healthcare war, crusading Bart Baby was on every radio station in America except KPFK. “I swear I am pro-life,” he swore. “I swear my guys and I are going to vote against the bill,” he said so many times it looked as if he were mimicking himself.
Who Can Tell the Difference?
The very liberal 9-term Michigan ex-cop lied so smoothly during the healthcare reform debates that he confidently trotted out another fib this afternoon when he traded in the truth for telling reporters, “I am retiring.”
I mean, how would it have sounded to say “I am a deceased duck”?
Your secret is safe with me, Bart Baby.
“I want to spend more time with my family,” he said, a line that Bart Baby borrowed from the last prison inmate I interviewed.
He decided not to run again because he was a cinch loser if he did.
After lying during the last round pf last month’s healthcare reform debate by claiming he was pro-life and that he would vote no, he buckled, surrendered, and crucially voted yes, whereupon his Upper Peninsula district turned coldly against him. He only could have won if he had hired Acorn.
Maybe because 58-year-old Bart is a small-town boy from deep in the north woods he thinks people won’t notice when a Congressman seems to assume a principled position against a wretched bill, and then, just in time to win kudos from the other side, he hollers “just kidding,” runs over and casts a decisive vote to clinch the defeat for his old side.
The Detroit News reported:
“I’m not looking for a fight,” Stupak said on the campus of Northern Michigan University. “I’m at peace with the decision I made. It’s the right decision for us.”
He said he did not “run away from the battle and fight” against political opposition for his stance on health care reform, but now is the time to step away.
“I’ve always thought there was one more job to be done,” Stupak said. “Every American has a right to health care. That main mission was accomplished. I’m at the crossroads in my life. I look forward to those new challenges.”
Perhaps veteran Los Angeles Democrats such as the Midget Monster Henry Waxman and Howard (I Don’t Know What I Believe) Berman are right when they say Republicans are making it up when they claim America is massively revolting over Bunny Ears’s bad healthcare joke.
But you never will convince Bart Baby. He is licking his wounds from payback for committing a moral abortion while the whole country watched.
