[img]1|left|Ari Noonan ||no_popup[/img]Sometimes when I fold my eyes, I envision my wife saying, “Did you hear that John Edwards was released from prison this afternoon after serving 15 years?”
Gollleee, Mr. Dillon. Who knew?
With Obama-style sycophants encircling his l’il red wagon every time he gets into trouble, Johnny Edwards, erstwhile Presidential and Vice Presidential candidate, remains the most under-reported Democrat crook in the contiguous 48.
As under-informed worshippers said 47 years ago following the Kennedy assassination, “Johnny, we hardly knew ye.”
Little did we naïve sprites realize in 1963 that that was the way the dominant Democrat Party and their deathly loyal acolytes in the media had controlled the Kennedy coverage.
Tote That Barge, Hate That Republican
On a related subject, only a fool would doubt that the incredibly reviled 78-year-old Sen. Jim Bunning, Republican of Kentucky, is the most hated within America’s shores this afternoon, more than KSM or any other terrorists whom President Obama says do not exist.
But our optimism should not be permitted to wilt.
I remain defiantly confident the 99 percent of America’s newspapers that report strictly from the left wing perspective, will publish a story about Mr. Edwards before he goes to prison instead of afterward.
Let us hear a booming huzzah for scrupulous left-wing fairness.
I heatedly deny that Mr. Edwards’s love child was in the fourth grade before The New York Times and the Los Angeles Times acknowledged that there was a remote possibility that once upon a time, Mr. Edwards may have — reports remain unconfirmed — kissed Rielle Hunter on the cheek. He was tempted to go further. Adroitly, Ms. Hunter reminded him he was married to a dying woman, to which Mr. Edwards eruditely responded “Darn.”
Shh, Do Not Tell Anyone
This afternoon’s stunning development in the trainwreck that Mr. Edwards — far away from mainstream coverage — has made of his life came from one of America’s most reliable sheets:
The National Enquirer.
Two years ago when Mr. Edwards slipped into the wide open Beverly Hilton to stage a one-night comeback with Ms. Hunter and to kiss their mutual baby on the way out the window, journalists at the Los Angeles Times and The New York Times huffily sniffed when the National Enquirer gave a kiss-by-kiss account of their rendezvous.
“Everyone knows you can’t believe the gossip you read in the Enquirer,” about a dozen journalists from the two newspapers said, almost in unison.
Every word of the Enquirer report was true, serious people shortly realized as overwhelming evidence mounted.
A further clinching clue was that both newspapers defiantly avoided the story that would have submarined one of their favorite golden boys.
As of the lunch hour today, most of those dozen haughty journalists were standing in unemployment lines as their credibility-shedding former employers edged closer to bankruptcy.
Meanwhile, them there so-called bargain basement journalists at the reviled National Enquirer are reporting the following this afternoon:
“The ultimate fall from grace, a Federal grand jury is about to indict John Edwards, The Enquirer has learned exclusively.
“In another shocker, close sources say Edwards's estranged wife Elizabeth could help send the former presidential candidate to jail.
“Edwards, the disgraced two-time Presidential loser, is being investigated by the feds, including the FBI and IRS, for possible campaign violations related to paying his mistress Rielle Hunter.
“The grand jury has been meeting since April 2009, and insiders say an indictment is imminent.
“‘John is terrified that he’s going to be indicted,’ a friend told the Enquirer.
“While he believes he’s done nothing illegal in trying to hide his extramarital affair with Rielle and their daughter, he thinks the Feds are going to make an example of him.”
Pretty big, wouldn’t you agree?
Chastened, no reporter from either Times denied the Enquirer story. However, don’t expect to read about this, though, in either Times unless Mr. Edwards announces he is converting to Republicanism. Then it will qualify as scandal.
