[img]1|left|Ari Noonan ||no_popup[/img]The news scarcely could have been more encouraging this morning from the Hocus Pocus-Hot Today-Cold Tomorrow-Climate Change-Global Warming Is Very Cool-Gibberish for Giants-Overheated Tempers Conference in Copenhagen to review plans for the end of the world.
Just as the “crucial” second half of the two-week Hocus Pocus Conference on Flibberty Gibbets got underway, a delegation of “developing” nations — liberals have such a sexy way with words — walked out, effectively plunging the overblown conference for blowhards into a suspended state.
The disruption was an earth shaker because 135 of the 192 nations — not all of whom worship at the altar of Global Something — fled the conference room.
Since husky China and sprawling India are classified as “developing” countries, even though they are nearly as old as man, we will have to examine funny definitions on another day.
Murgatroyd, you never will believe why the boys from Africa and elsewhere told the big boys from “rich” countries to stick a sock in it, at least for now.
In the surreal, plasticized — not to mention occasionally plastered — world of Oh My Gosh, I Do Believe, the 135 smarty-pants said the big guys aren’t agreeing to deep enough emissions cuts and they are not willing to hand over enough dough to the “developing” countries to spend on cutting their own emissions.
Darn.
This occurred just as I was about to complain about greenhouse gas emissions emerging from the jungles of Africa. Nearly made me cough uncontrollably.
It’s C-c-c-c-c-cold Here
And so, the boys from the 135 smarty pants countries threw their snit, stood up and donned their heavier-than-heck winter coats, mufflers and fur hats, walked outside, where the high was 35 today, watched their breath float skyward, and mourned how fast the world is going to Peoria in a handbasket because dummies like me, who don’t buy their Dell Comics junk science theories, are hastening the global warming end of their world. Several of the more mirthful boys wished they were in Siberia or Alaska or the South Pole, someplace where Al Gore says that, by the hour, it is getting steamier than Tarzana in early September.
Those liberal boys who have been fattening their wallets by selling global warming hocus pocus the last few years are scrambling frantically these blustery winter days, as if they were organizing a Chinese fire drill, or a liberal academics’ Gotta Get ‘em Before They Git Us Conference.
Not even Swish when he is cornered by a reasonable person who has caught him in another fictional moment scrambles as furiously as these trapped liberals in the climate change debate.
It’s True Because I Say So
Since honesty is an outmoded principle in liberal universities, the apostles of Hocus Pocus but Don’t Croak Us Global Warming just are repeating their mantra over and over. They are not worried about confessing their mountainous mischief.
Unable to verify their claims that The End (My Golly, I Can’t Believe It, —Again) Is Near, liberals flick their wrists and holler dismissively, “This is too complicated for you to understand.” That is their stock response to anyone who fails to fall down in abject obeisance to their command.
Los Angeles Times columnist Tim Rutten almost always tries to be serious, and almost always concludes by popping a sour cream pie into his own pretty darned round face. Unintentionally.
In last Saturday’s essay, Mr. Rutten suggested that those hackers who created Climategate should be punished by suffering a fate just south of beheading. What he meant was, How dare they expose what I really, really believe in? I can’t tell you why I believe it. But it’s pretty complicated.
Without a speck of evidence, Mr. Rutten declared, “the scientific consensus on the issue is broad and deep.”
This, mind you, from the boys who brought you the There Is No God scenario a few years ago.
Lordy, Lordy, I Do Want to Believe.
Toward the end, Mr. Rutten asks a smart question that deserves to be x-rayed — by liberals. Conservatives have been studying it for years.
Mr. Rutten wonders: What would clusters of scientists stand to gain by perpetrating a climate change hoax?
And with this, we will conclude for today:
A sizable body would greatly enhance their prestige if enough people fall for their stunt.
More importantly, many national governments would gain an iron grip over their people and the country’s purse strings, a hold that could not be broken for many years. Elementary, my dear liberals.
