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And Then There Was the News That Was Not Deemed News

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Former Presidential candidate John Edwards said today that he would withdraw from public life, promising “to spend more time with my families.” But even as he made this vow, Mr. Edwards said he would continue to sound the themes of his Presidential campaigns: “There are two Americas, and I have children in each of them” Humorist Andy Borowitz

The most surprising development of the weekend — you decide because I cannot.

• Was it Swish Obama admitting he was just kidding when he claimed he was deathly serious about being in a frantic hurry to endorse the public option component of the healthcare reform bill only to drop his chin yesterday and concede that he will take any darned compromise he can get?

• Was it 27 radical Arabs — none, so far, with Culver City ties — killing each other at mosque in Gaza, a dog-bites-man story that American newspapers buried in the most arcane corners of their editions? But when an Israeli soldier shoots one Arab terrorist, it zooms to the No. 1 story in the world that day. Tellingly, these perspicacious left-wing journalists somehow allow Arab-on-Arab crime to slip into the Good Riddance file,

• Or was it the New York Times and the Los Angeles Times both devoting space speciously to fretting over their latest obsession with Sarah Palin, whether she still was popular when she is the first person they think of every morning?

Heap Big Silence About Gas and War

Surprisingly, there is other news worthy of your attention.

With gas prices up about 50 percent since Swish and da boys from da rough side of Chicago took over the land, the President has worked even more miracles than he has been credited with, itself an astounding statement.

With the considerable assistance of his loyal left-wing journalistic and National Public Radio acolytes, no one has been allowed to breathe a word of discontent about the pretty fast rise. They are, you will forgive the semi-witty verb, conserving their precious energy and rhetorical gunfire for the next Republican administration.

Since only Republicans are known to have links to the oil industry— members of the Democrat Party prefer to cast themselves as victims — Swish and the boys are held blameless for the upsurge, the second most repeated mantra of the Dear Leader’s.

The No. 1 most repeated is cheering news for those disgusting, organized, hateful, ignorant, lying, racist, manipulable white guy conservatives — war is good again, baby.

Can you believe it?

What a snake-charmer we have in the Oval Office. He can turn bad into good with a finger-snap.

War must be good again because the President is promoting it, at least in Afghanistan, and America’s leading editorial writers are pretending they don’t notice.

Floogie Now in Charge

Even as Swish and the boys — led by Flatfoot Floogie, the U.S. Attorney General —are threatening to imprison President Bush and Vice President for purported war crimes, the virgin pure administration not only is prosecuting but accelerating The Other War, The Really Good War, the one in Afghanistan.

Swish and the boys used to be against the war before they were for it, a nifty phrase they borrowed, without credit, from the second smartest U.S. Senator in Massachusetts.

You could be pardoned for not noticing this amazing course reversal.

The newly mandated Whores for Obama department at the Los Angeles Times and other of America’s leading daily newspapers just have not had time to report this extreme development in the past half-year. They have been preoccupied with tab-keeping on the hourly movements of a Wyoming chap named Cheney and an Alaska looker, Ms. Palin, whom they dearly wish was on their side instead of, say, hoary Hillary or Mad Michelle.

In the most remote recesses of our favorite newspapers, we read about American troops being blown up with numbing regularity, but hey, that is our guy, not your, in the White House. So stow your criticism until the Republicans can cheat again to win back the White House.

The left-wing journalists are so busy chronicling the home lives of Mr. Cheney and Ms. Palin they have not had time to report that 84 percent of Americans are pleased with their health coverage, which surely is flawed but not the train wreck that the President pretends it is.

Swish’s Enemies List

Finally, for your enlightenment, here is the perceptive commentator Andrew Breitbart making astute observations about the whopping Destruction List piled up in just a few months by Swish and his thug boys. Consider the honor roll of people they have demonized just in the last few months for daring to publicly disagree with them.

Mr. Breitbart writes:

“When put on the media stage, these individuals and groups have been isolated for destruction for standing in the way of a resurgent modern progressive movement and for challenging its charismatic once-in-a-lifetime standard-bearer, Barack Obama.

“This is their time, we’ve been told. And no one is going to stand in the way.

“Now that Mr. Bush is quietly going about his retirement, this strain of rage — the GWB43 virus — has spread like wildfire, finding unsuspecting targets, each granting us greater perspective into what not long ago seemed like a mysterious phenomenon isolated only on our 43rd President.

“The first person to catch the virus was Sarah Palin, whose family also was infected, including, unforgivably, her children.

“Then it was Joe the Plumber, for asking a question.

“Next were the Mormons.

“Then it was Rush Limbaugh — who hit back.

“Next, tax-day “tea party” attendees were “tea bagged.”

“Then there was a beauty contestant.

“And a Cambridge cop, too.

“And now we have town-hall ‘mobs.’

“Smile … you’ve been ‘community organized.’”